Virtual dating during lockdown was not some arduous struggle but, in fact, something that people all over the world somehow enjoyed very much. Even now, many people are rejoicing in the advantages of this method. With school, work, and everything else having been digitized, virtual dating is no surprise.
What Is Virtual Dating?
Virtual dating has gone beyond a mere tool to make do with during the lockdown and has become a preferred method of dating. It is changing the way people choose to get to know someone. Pajamas on the bottom and a cocktail in your hand, your laptop screen can help you find love or just some fun. With Discord, Instagram and other apps, people are finding it easy to get to know new people online. It takes only a few clicks to get on a video call and start a virtual dating spree with them. Ben joined a Discord server back when he had just started to get into gaming. With a group of around fourteen people, he found himself spending a lot of time online – not only playing games with them but also hanging out with them in voice rooms when he got the chance. That’s where he met Caoimhe, a girl from Dublin who he started seeing online. Day by day, the two of them moved from Discord to Instagram and are now in a full-fledged online relationship. So like Ben, one can get a chance to meet people from different countries thanks to the ease of the virtual world. Virtual dating is growing popular because it has opened people up to newer cultures and new people that they would normally not seek online in a regular lifestyle. A creative Skype date now has taken the place of actually making a dinner reservation.
11 Virtual Dating Mistakes Everyone Makes But YOU Can Avoid
The virtual dating phase is here to stay, and with that, you should ensure that you are following all the right steps to make it work. Try your hand at it if you haven’t already but keep those virtual dating mistakes at bay. Yes, with all the excitement of meeting someone online, it is possible that you might get swept in the flow of things and find yourself making some errors that could cost you. But once you get acquainted with these few checks, you will have nothing to worry about. We have listed 11 virtual dating mistakes that people often make but you can watch out for.
1. Being shy about your photos
Or saying ‘I can’t video call tonight because I didn’t wash my hair, I’m sorry’ is the biggest turn-off when virtual dating. Just like online dating, your virtual profile and photos speak volumes about you. So unless you’re really too busy or really aren’t in the mood, do not put things or people off. It can make them lose interest very quickly and just move onto the next person. The online world has too many options and the moment a person feels like they aren’t being gratified, they can cap it all off. Be expressive on your online profiles and active about sharing pictures and such. Sending a snap of your morning coffee or your online work meeting face is going to make your dating life much easier and simpler. You want to keep it going? Then this is one of the virtual dating mistakes you should avoid and let the other person in, albeit virtually.
2. Not being yourself when virtual dating
A lot of people think that just because your world is now online that your virtual persona needs to be somehow different. It is true that when virtual dating, it is very easy to appear extra witty and charming or less showy and needy. Behind a screen, one feels like they can be anything. It is particularly one of the online dating mistakes guys make. The whole point of virtual dating is to enjoy these dates by expressing who you are as a person. Don’t make your online persona starkly different from who you are. It is getting easier to catch these differences and it becomes exhausting to put on a perfect show. Be your genuine and real self always.
3. Respecting boundaries
When virtual dating during the lockdown, people were already bogged down by petrifying loneliness and self-doubt. This led them to hanker onto the person they were seeing online and we saw the rise of many clingy girlfriends and boyfriends. Stop right away if you feel like you are losing yourself in the person you met online. Remember that you have still not met them in real life and are not as close to them as people are when they are dating conventionally. Do not obsess about them and fall so hard for them that it becomes like a game of a cat and mouse chase for you. One of the most common dating mistakes is that a person often forgets that they’re dealing with a person in the online world where things are indeed very different. Virtual dating starts as casual dating which means they could be seeing other people also. Do not plunge into exclusivity and respect the other person’s boundaries.
4. Sharing personal information when virtual dating
You are dating them, yes, but it is still in an online format and you should be careful. Making mistakes in online dating can cost you severely when you get so involved that you start sharing important information about yourself. Divulging too much personal information can lead you down a terrible path, one that you should avoid taking. You could be getting catfished or may be in touch with a fake profile being operated by someone with dubious intentions. Such virtual dating mistakes are committed by many but you don’t be fooled. Do your homework before you get too close to someone you talk to online. Stalk them online everywhere, from Instagram to Facebook to even LinkedIn to make sure you’re talking to someone who is not a potential scammer.
5. Being a snooze
The one who snoozes loses. Remember, that FaceTime dating is almost too easy and everyone is doing it all the time. That’s why you have to put a pep in your step and make your dates extra fun if you want to make them stay. Or else you will lose and your date will happily get distracted by somebody else. Plan creative things to do and make it seem like an actual date. You want to make them look forward to seeing you instead of sighing every time a text with your name pops up on their screen. Do some craft together, screen share a movie or anything else that you both find interesting. One of the most common dating mistakes is to let your online dates be restricted to chatting over text or simple video calls. Ever played Chess or Poker online?
6. Disrespecting others time
When virtual speed dating, it can be difficult to keep up with all your dates because you may be seeing multiple people at once. From Cassandra to Katie to Leanne – we know you’re busy and that’s good! As long as you are being honest and real with each of them, you should enjoy virtual dating as much as you can. But keep a few tips in mind. Space out your dates in a way that you can spend enough time and energy on each of them. Do not seen-zone Sarah just because Taylor had free time that evening. Virtual dating is all fun and games as long as you are not coming across as a narcissist and letting it get to your head. Sarah is probably texting four other guys too. So be respectful of everyone’s time when you’re having a great time yourself.
7. Don’t drag it out
Don’t spend weeks texting kissing emojis waiting for the other shoe to drop and for her to make a move and call you. Do it yourself! Ask for a FaceTime date a few days into the conversation. The train keeps going when virtual speed dating because it is almost too easy to lose interest online. Throw on a creative Skype date and show them that you are interested. Virtual dating requires extra energy and it is no fun if you keep dragging it out with texting anxiety in emoji-land. Get real, get dating. Don’t make this one of those online dating mistakes guys make.
8. Leave your emotional baggage behind
When virtual dating during the lockdown, it was important for people to share the troubles we were all collectively going through. We all needed a partner to help us sail through the time. And no matter how needed that was, your online date is still not someone you can unburden your troubles on. So do not make this a habit when you are dating on zoom. You are still in the stage where you are trying to get to know somebody and letting them open themselves up to you. Throwing too many problems or emotions onto them might scare them off. Take your time and slowly ease into deeper conversations.
9. Being impatient when virtual dating
While it is necessary to dive in headfirst when virtual dating, make sure you don’t plunge too deep either. Keep the excitement on a down-low or else it can quickly turn into one of the virtual dating mistakes made by girls and guys. To ask for a FaceTime date every single day might make you seem a little too desperate. Do not text constantly or call unnecessarily. Virtual dating makes us rely on our virtual technology, yes but let us not misuse it. People still have a social life outside of it and have other things to do. Do not expect your partner to drop everything and be glued to their screens for you.
10. Adhere to the rules of sexting safely
When virtual dating goes into the bedroom, it very quickly turns into sending dirty texts and lots of phone sex. But sexting comes with a lot of rules to ensure the safety of everyone involved. One misstep, and things can quickly take a messy turn and that’s the moment you start regretting making mistakes in online dating. No taking screenshots, no showing your face too much, establishing mutual trust and being clear about consent are some important things you have to keep in mind and establish. Be mindful of the other person’s wants and apprehensions and take it slow and easy.
11. Having an open chat
A lot of people think that virtual dating can quickly translate to benching dating because one person might get more involved than the other. This is bound to happen but what is important is that you are clear about your intentions. Being unclear about what they are looking for is also one of the more common dating profile mistakes. It is best to make your bio a clear reflection of what you want. If that is not the case, then at some point figure out when it is the right time to discuss your stake in that relationship to not keep the other person hanging. Virtual dating is fun as long as you do not lead the other person on. Virtual dating can be a fun and exciting prospect but things can just as easily go south, putting you off the prospect of carrying out a relationship in the virtual realm. The key is to strike the right balance between giving in and holding off so that you can both stay hooked without intruding into each other’s personal space.
