Securing this feeling is hard, and being the safety net for your loved one is even harder. Am I making him feel safe? Sometimes just a hug, sitting next to him in silence, saying words of encouragement, and your presence will make him feel safe. He might not be so explicit in showing how much he feels safe with you, but if you hear him saying that he trusts you, that’s a sign that you are comforting and a safe space for him. Let’s no longer pounder on it! Here are 14 signs he feels safe with you:
1. He isn’t hesitant when it comes to physical affection
The physical affection he shows and accepts means that there is a sense of comfort and security that he finds in you. Acceptance of physical affection might be one of those subtle signs that might be taken for granted as an expression of him feeling safe with you. The intimacy created, not only sexual, between you two makes him feel loved and safe to show that he loves your kisses, hugs, and random comforting touches.
2. He allows himself to be vulnerable with you
Just as you might need emotional support and have your feelings validated to feel safe, loved, and protected, he wants the same thing as well. If he has opened up about his background, life, and obstacles he is facing, that’s a telltale sign that he feels safe in your companionship. The reassurance that he won’t be judged for being emotionally open is what makes him feel safe in sharing his concerns with you. Being vulnerable with someone isn’t easy, but when the sense of security and protection is provided and felt to be given by you, he will understand that you are a safety net for him. Hence, he doesn’t mind venting and telling you what is making him feel stressed. Because he knows that you won’t see him any less than the amazing man that he is.
3. He is attentive to you just as you are to him
When the situation arises that you are the one that needs reassurance, he is there for you. His attention to detail when you are involved is a sign that he cares and also feels safe by your side. Knowing that you are being careful when arguing with him even if you are angry, sad, or stressed, caring about his feelings first makes him feel safe. When he tries to comfort you in those situations, that’s because he is sure that you need him by your side but also he feels safe to know that you can lean on him just as much as he leans on you. He will say thank you when you do something for him, he will listen and remember everything that you tell him because he cares and feels safe with you.
4. He tells you that he trusts you
Trust is not easily given to someone. You need to put a lot of effort to earn someone’s trust. When he feels that you have proven yourself to him, he will give you his trust because he knows that you will take good care of it. He trusts you to be open and himself because he feels safe in your presence, and that you’d accept him without him needing to alter himself for you. Whenever some kind of problem comes up, he knows he can come up to you for help, advice, an opinion or simply to talk, because he doesn’t fear judgment in your presence and feels safe in your presence. Hence, he verbally expresses his trust in you.
5. He accepts your help
Being vulnerable is hard. It is especially hard for men because of the social norms. When he feels safe with you, he won’t mind breaking those stereotypes that guide today’s world. He doesn’t hesitate to seek help from you when he can’t deal with it on his own, without feeling like you are threatening his masculinity. These toxic standards that have been thrown around society don’t find a place in your relationship. The idea of having a safety net doesn’t bother him, on the contrary, he appreciates you for being there for him when the days are not that bright.
6. He feels emotionally protected
Protection doesn’t always mean physical, it means being a safe space for someone to express their emotions. That is why he has assigned you the noble duty to guard his emotions and feelings because he knows you’ll keep them safe since he already senses it from you. Physically speaking, one would put themselves in harm’s way just to keep their partner safe. However, standing up for him in a social gathering or when someone comments about him will make him feel loved, wanted, and safe. Trusting you with himself, his vulnerability, and his feelings is a sign that he feels safe with you. That’s something to be appreciated and not taken for granted.
7. He isn’t afraid of being himself
When in a healthy relationship, he and you won’t need to be scared to be yourselves at the expense of being judged. If you provide a safe space for him, he will show you all of those sides that he won’t show the others. He will,
Show his dorkiness; His weird pet peeves; Express his sexuality freely; Show unexpected interests; Express vulnerability (e.g. sadness);
The safe environment you have created for him will make him dispose of his facade of being “a tough man” as the society has created, but rather he can be himself without any reservations.
8. He encourages open communication
When he initiates a safe and open communication line in your relationship, one where you feel safe, respected, and not judged, that’s a reflection of how he feels about you and the relationship you both have created. Honesty is one of the prime values he has shared with you and stands by. That’s because he knows that even when you disagree, honesty will be appreciated and you will come to a common ground. Misunderstandings, problems, and secrets need to be addressed for your relationship to grow healthy and be the safety harness for each other.
9. He recognizes your differences and is okay with them
Not all two people are the same. Despite all of the differences, he won’t attempt to dominate the relationship, in contrast, you will be equals. Because he feels safe with you, he will work around your differences and will try to make do with them. Because compromising sometimes can open a lot of doors. However, it is these weaknesses and strengths that one possesses that he can feel needed, respected, comforted, and safe with you.
10. He’s sharing with you
When he comes from work and talks about his day, knowing that you will listen and pay attention to him, he feels comforted by you. Also, the future, life expectations, or an untouchable topic don’t seem to scare him off. That’s because he wants something more with you and feels safe approaching it. Your relationship mostly harbors positive energy, although arguments happen here and there, you know that communication is key to solving them. This kind of connection is hard to develop and needs a lot of nurturing for it to grow healthy and create a safe space. You’re there!
11. He calls when he needs comfort
You are the first to call when he needs comfort or just someone to talk to. You are his safe place and knows that whenever something comes up, he can find comfort in you. Even when there is nothing that you can help him with, he tells you that this is more than enough for him. You are comforting to him and this sense of comfort that you bring to him makes him feel safe to be with you.
12. He talks freely around you when in presence of friends/family
There are no family secrets or topics that he won’t discuss when he is in your presence. Nothing seems to be hidden between you two. Honesty is prominent in your relationship. Thus, when in the presence of his family and friends he doesn’t act out of character and is still the same man when you are alone. He tells your friends and family that they can talk about anything because he feels safe with you and knows that you can keep things to yourself.
13. He doesn’t mind the silence
Silence is hard to swallow if you don’t feel comfortable with someone. However, comfortable silence occurs when two people can stand the void without attempting to fill it. When he feels comfortable enough to spend time with you in silence, without the pressure of being engaged constantly with you, that’s a sign that he feels safe with you to the level that he can be his quiet self as well. Being constantly enthusiastic and energetic isn’t the real deal. That’s why he needs some time in calmness and silence to recharge himself, and he’s not afraid to share that with you when he feels safe around you. When he feels comfortable showing this side of him, it’s a telltale sign that he feels safe in your presence.
14. He respects your boundaries without hesitation
Being respectful of your values, boundaries, and morals shows how much he appreciates and respects you. Your boundaries are a guiding book on how he needs to approach you and any situation that needs to be discussed. When you feel that your boundaries are also being protected by him, that’s a sign that he’s feeling safe with you. Whenever disagreements take place, he still supports you even when he knows that the outcome might not be what you desire. Because he knows that your independence and strengths bring comfort to him, and that’s a sign he feels safe with you.
Why does he feel safe with me?
You can’t wrap your head around the idea that you can be someone’s safety net, because you never knew that you can be. The idea of being someone important to him might make you a bit insecure because you are scared that you won’t be able to keep him safe. So you want to know why he feels safe with you so that you can continue to make him feel safe for as long as he needs, even if that’s a lifetime… Here’s why he feels safe with you: – You give him emotional support. Whenever he feels tired and stressed over a problem you are there for him. In times when he needs to vent his anger and what is draining him, you make sure to tell him that it is okay to feel all of those emotions. You are a pillar of support when he just needs you to be there to tell you how he feels. He knows that he can show you his vulnerable side without the fear of being judged. – You make sure he knows that you are listening to him. When he talks you give him your undivided attention. There is nothing that can take you away from him. Knowing this, he feels safe with you. Because you have created a safe environment where he knows he can be heard and appreciated for who he is without fearing looking weak in your eyes. – You show him that you pay attention to whatever he’s saying. There is no better feeling than getting the impression that your lover pays attention and remembers what you say. That’s what makes him feel safe. Because you let him know that you are listening and paying attention to him, by doing small things for him like getting the tickets to that car race he’s been talking about. – You have created a safe space for him without fearing judgment. When he knows that you have accepted him for who he is, a sense of safety automatically follows. That’s because only when you aren’t afraid of being yourself can you feel safe. Even when he feels under the weather, he knows he can be sick and be taken care of, because you are his safe space. – You bring him comfort when he worries. Feeling comforted after a long tiring day will lessen his worries and stress levels. When you say words of encouragement to help him not give up on a bad day, or give him a bear hug when he feels down, he knows he’s safe in your arms. – You are open and vulnerable with him too. As being vulnerable is hard, you have shown him that it is okay to feel because you have been vulnerable with him too. You have given him a prime example that you can be vulnerable and open with him, thus, telling him that you will show the same care and appreciation he did. All in all, safety is associated with the feeling that person brings to the other. Not all can be a safe space for him. You are his special person and this feeling can be provided only by you. That’s why you shouldn’t take it for granted. Sincerely, Callisto
