It is often said, “Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud”. Men who have insecurities are often defensive and overcompensate – whether in action or words – and are more likely to deny it if someone tells them that they’re the ‘insecure boyfriend’. Now, human beings have self-doubt in a range of areas. So, it’s fine to reassure your partner about their anxiety if the need arises. But when your guy goes a step further and has to be pacified for everything that goes beyond his control, then it’s important to get help.
18 Things To Say To Reassure Your Boyfriend About Your Relationship
Alexander Pope said, “To err is human” in the eighteenth century. However, in today’s world, “To be insecure and have crippling anxiety is human” would be the right idiom. Everybody feels the need for reassurance at some point in time. Even the most secure people experience moments of insecurity and anxiety. There’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of while seeking some validation. So, how to reassure your boyfriend? To answer this, one must consider that insecurity in a person is not a result of external factors around them. It’s a response from the person to certain events in their life. A major feeling that results from insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy. Psychologists say that insecure men often believe that others do not respect their knowledge or opinion. Insecure people think or rather obsess over what others think about them. Dealing with insecure people needs effort, probably more so than in any of your other relationships, but love is complicated. And worth it. When you love someone, reassuring them is not just about building their self-esteem, it’s also about strengthening your bond with them.
1. I love you
An insecure boyfriend needs constant reassurance that his partner loves him. Blame it on low self-esteem, neglected or abusive childhood, or any other factor, but timely reassurances will slowly help him leave those demons behind. Knowing how to reassure your boyfriend that you love him comes easier with practice. Saying “I love you” the first time can be daunting, but could do the trick. It isn’t something that one says to just anyone. But one shouldn’t shy away from expressing their feelings to their partner.
2. I need you
One of the things that is often assumed in the relationship is the need for one’s partner. But it is important to communicate the emotion. “I need you” could mean different things to different people. Sometimes, it communicates the emotional intimacy one already has in the relationship, other times it communicates the companionship they crave. Validation is one of the most critical emotional needs in a relationship. Reassuring your boyfriend that you won’t leave by confessing your need for him is the ultimate act of validation you can do for him.
3. You’re the only one for me
Confessing your sole interest in your boyfriend is another way you could reassure him. He will read it as a sign that he has a faithful and loyal partner, especially if he values monogamy. This is our simple note on how to reassure your boyfriend you won’t leave him – through expressions of loyalty. To prove yourself as a loyal partner, you’ve to be empathetic and begin to prioritize his role in your relationship. Active listening and sharing experiences could be a great start to this. You have to make him feel that he can depend upon you. This can be done by making him a priority in your life.
4. I can’t stop thinking about you
Telling someone that you think about them is a positive affirmation, unless it’s done by a creepy man standing in rain outside your building. When we bond with someone, it triggers a release of dopamine in the brain, a feel-good chemical. Thinking about that person triggers a dopamine response, which is why we think so much about the people we love. This dialogue will tell your partner that you care about him and that he’s constantly in your thoughts. You could also communicate this by getting some thinking-of-you gifts for your partner.
5. You make me feel like I’ve never felt before
Here’s how to reassure your boyfriend about his worth in your relationship. Tell him about the things that have improved in your life and within you by being in a relationship with him. Tell him that you’ve seen how life changes for good when you’re dating someone as special as him. Life feels hopeful when you’re in love. Share that feeling with him and let him know that he’s responsible for making you feel that way.
6. I don’t want to change anything about you
Love is not sincere if it comes with conditions or strings. The need for privacy or independence is understandable. Still, conditions that instruct a person to dress a certain way or behave in a certain manner are nothing more than a cold agreement. If you want to know how to reassure your boyfriend you won’t leave him, then tell him that you don’t want to change anything about him. It is an example of unconditional love, and being loved by someone unconditionally is nothing short of a treasure.
7. You make me proud
We live in a world where everyone is told to go through the grind to earn a place. In such a scenario, being told that someone is proud of us is great motivation. Tell him you’re proud of his achievements and how hard he tries to keep you happy. This will do wonders where validation is concerned for your insecure boyfriend.
8. You look amazing
Another way insecurity manifests in a person is self-deprecating behavior. People who have been conditioned to believe outdated ideas of beauty often rank themselves as unattractive. This may result in them being extra careful with their looks or clothes. They rarely relax, even in a casual setting. An insecure boyfriend will often obsess over the reason you’re with him since he thinks you are more attractive than him. These thoughts, if not curbed, can lead to overwhelming jealousy. If you want to know how to reassure your boyfriend about his looks, tell him often that he is attractive, more than he thinks. Compliment him sincerely and tell him you love everything about the way he looks.
9. You heal me
Love is great because it makes us want to be better people. Everyone is carrying some sort of emotional baggage from the past, either from childhood, relationships, or traumatic events. But being with the right person can help in overcoming those barriers from your earlier life. Tell your boyfriend how he has helped you move on from the past.
10. Why didn’t I meet you earlier?
Though it’s a rhetorical question, it will always earn a smile as an answer. It’s no one’s fault, because it’s a matter of fate or the inner workings of the universe or whatever you call it. But it tells him how grateful you are for his presence in your life. Another note on how to reassure your boyfriend with something concrete is to say it with a customized sentimental gift for your boyfriend that will melt his heart.
11. I can’t imagine my life without you
Telling your guy that you do not think of him as a mere option in your life is a big deal. You are telling him that he is not one of the many you chose from just because he had the better body or could cook. Tell him that he’s the person who you connect with spiritually and emotionally and that in him, you have found your soulmate.
12. I miss you
Now, here’s one for long-distance partners – How to reassure your boyfriend that you love him and miss him when he is away? Though you can make use of romantic ‘miss you’ messages for your SO, saying it directly to him on phone or in letters (if you’re an old-world romantic) works better. You are telling him how much you crave his presence around you and his absence is getting difficult for you to bear. Do not underestimate this sentence. Ballads and movies and songs, you can’t imagine the amount of art that has been created around this sentiment.
13. You make me a better person
Though it is said that love shouldn’t require one to change, love must encourage a person to become a better version of themselves. When you tell him that he has inspired you to become a better person and partner, you’re telling him that not only do you want the relationship to grow, but dating him is like having found tips to be a better lover. Also, if your relationship has gone through the storms of your infidelity, and you’re wondering how to reassure your boyfriend after cheating, then you must tell him you want to become a better person for him. Many apologies and amends will follow, but this promise might just help you heal your broken relationship.
14. I’m sorry
It is important to acknowledge your mistakes in a healthy relationship. An apology tells your partner that you’re aware of the hurt you’ve caused him and that you will not repeat the act in the future. Unresolved conflicts can be sources of stress that may drive a wall between you two. Apologizing is an admission of regret for causing your significant other pain, even if it was unintentional. Here’s how to reassure your boyfriend that you see his pain and have understood your part in the hurt you caused – Do not beat around the bush. Apologize sincerely. Acknowledge what you did, and its emotional impact on him. Make the repairs. You can even use a cute little way to say sorry after a fight, like a note in his bag.
15. I want to be with you
Confessing a desire to be with your partner is a way of telling him that you’re committed to him. With this statement, you’re telling him that you visualize a future with him. Since commitment is a big step in any relationship, you’re telling him that you find him trustworthy to invest in a long-term dynamic with him. If you’ve shied away from relationships previously, then this will be a sign for him that you’re over your fear of commitment.
16. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me
It always feels great when someone acknowledges and appreciates one’s presence in their life. Especially when one’s suffering from self-doubt. Saying that he is the reason your life feels so good will brighten his day. Starting a day with such a positive acknowledgment will give him the confidence to take on any challenge. I tell anyone who asks me, “How to reassure your boyfriend when he’s low?” Tell him he has made you the happiest you’ve ever been in your life and you will rejuvenate him.
17. Reassure your partner with anxiety: Your love is all I need/I would be so happy to take care of you
Of course, we are all a bit materialistic and love is never the complete solution. You need money to survive. But if he’s going through a rough financial patch, saying these statements along with promising him that you will work out the problems together will be a great relief to him. Insecure men who are conditioned to cater to the traditional role of a breadwinner may find it difficult to become dependent on their partners. Many might consider it the end of their relationship if they are unable to fulfill that role anymore. Assure him that you will take care of him if the need arises. Tell him that he doesn’t have to feel embarrassed by that prospect and together, you can overcome any financial stress in the relationship.
18. I want to grow old with you
No one can predict the future. Though this unpredictability is one of the charms of life, it can lead to an overwhelming panic in someone with anxiety. In such cases, you can provide him with a ray of predictability by saying that you envision a future with him. This not only tells him that you find him trustworthy to make such a long-term commitment but also that you love him and feel secure enough about him to make such a statement. How to reassure your partner with anxiety? By building a strong communication channel with him. But do remember that reassurances are only good if they can help in one’s insecurity. At Bonobology, we have an extensive panel of experienced counselors to help in your journey of healing from insecurity. If you find yourself in a vicious circle where his insecurity keeps getting worse and you’re constantly pulling reassurances, then the relationship may not work out. Unless he works on his fears and insecurities without depending so much on you.
