We love love! Every one of us, in one way or another, desires to love and to be loved. It’s a fundamentally beautiful phenomenon. We each carry love languages; we give and receive love through them. Deciphering whether your man loves you has to do with his love language as well! The psychology behind love goes to explain this phenomenon beyond words, beyond what is said and heard. Even if he didn’t say it yet, there are ways direct and indirect through which he expresses his love to you. Here are 19 signs to tell he really loves you:
1. He shows little gestures of love
Love is beyond the sweet words, it tends to manifest in little gestures such as getting you something you like when going to the supermarket or knowing your favorite tea. He knows how you like your coffee, what music you’re into, what food you like, and he might just make you a mixtape or a playlist because he genuinely likes, and well, loves you. It’s in his way of touching your hand, asking you a thoughtful question, knowing what art you like, and your favorite time to go shopping.
There’s reciprocity within the connection; He shows you he cares through small and big gestures; You feel loved and important in his presence;
2. He lets you see his vulnerable side
One of the signs that he loves is when he lets his guard down and lets you see what’s underneath the ‘strong’, ‘powerful’, and ‘indestructible’. In most cultures men are taught to be these undefeatable beings, they’re taught to hide their ‘weakness’, which, according to society, is being emotional. When he lets you in, really, and lets you see him exactly as he is, it means he’s willing to ‘surrender’ and feel safe handing you part of his vulnerability. Love is about surrendering. This is one of those strong signs a man loves you.
He opens up with you, he shows you vulnerability through his emotions; He apologizes for his wrongs; He doesn’t mind you seeing him be vulnerable and sensitive.
3. He’s gentle with your vulnerabilities
When there’s love, there’s empathy, respect, and patience. When you talk, he listens, he’s engaged, and he asks questions. He’s patient and gentle with your vulnerabilities. He’s respectful of your past experiences and what you’ve been through. Once he wants to know more than your likes and your dislikes; he wants to know what hurts you, what saddens you, and what made you who you are: he’s in for love.
He wants to know everything that shaped you as a person. He remembers the details you share with him; He avoids doing things that hurt you; He’s careful when it comes to your vulnerabilities, he doesn’t push your buttons;
4. Your joy matters to him
You do know he’s in love with you when he makes you laugh and gets joy from your laughter. He might tease you, make a joke, or do something silly just to see you smile. Teasing and humor are parts of our playful versions which we don’t show with just everyone, we share it with special people only. One of the telltale signs that he loves you is his way of caring to see you happy, smiling, and enjoying your time with him.
Your joy is very important to him, it is one of his priorities; He takes every chance to make you happy; He finds your joy nourishing for his soul.
5. He tells you he misses you after some time of not seeing you
You get an I-message telling you “I miss you already.” or “I want to hear your voice…” Saying “I miss you” is another way of showing you his vulnerability. This time the fragility is even more intense because it is caused by you. Now, he knows you can ‘use it against him’ and he still chooses to give you that ‘weapon’. He’s giving in. It’s love.
He calls out of the blue because “He misses hearing your voice”; If you don’t see each other for a long time he calls you or texts you often to tell you he misses you; He texts you every day to check in that you’re okay and make sure you’ve got the daily dose of care from him for the day.
6. He cares about your well-being
One of the early signs that a man loves a woman is when he cares about her well-being, health, and her feelings. He keeps an eye on her health. He doesn’t do anything to intentionally hurt her, as he is now emotionally connected to her. You matter to him, hence he respects your space, and cares about how you feel. If he can’t stand seeing you hurt. You’re his girlfriend, and you feel it through the way he cares for you, the way he pays attention, and is attentive when it comes to you.
You’ve been feeling safe and sound around him for a long time now; He insists on you taking care of your health (e.g. eating healthy foods, not missing that doctor appointment, etc); He knows what makes you sick and he remembers what symptoms you might experience and does everything he can to prevent you from getting sick again;
7. You became one of his priorities
If he loves you he will put you on his list of priorities, you will matter to him. You will be one of the important people to him, close to his heart. He wants you to safely walk on the sidewalk, he volunteers to take care of your car when there’s something wrong with it, and he’s there to give you a hug when you need it most. If there’s a word to describe this, it’s love. It’s clear through his actions that you’re in his mind, that he thinks well of you, and that he’s willing to do anything to contribute to your well-being and joy. Men are protectors and providers by nature, and so are women, don’t get me wrong, but men have that instinct more developed (it shows, even more, when he loves you and cares about you).
It feels like you’re the one for him; He drops other things and plans when you call him for help; He’s willing to put your needs before his; Nothing seems to compare to you in his eyes;
8. “I” got replaced by “We”
When he says “we” instead of “I” when talking about the future, he’s in for the long haul. Sometimes he does it subconsciously, sometimes not. If he’s in love, he will find a way to express it. If he isn’t already in love, he’s at least falling in love with you once the “I” gets replaced with “We” When he loves you, he sees himself as a part of a team, and you can sense the partnership within your connection.
He invites you to activities he used to do on his own; You feel like you’re becoming a crucial part of his life; Figuratively, he integrates you with himself: his “I” becomes “We” or “Us”
9. He’s respectful of you and your boundaries
He doesn’t try to impose your choices, decisions, or preferences. He respects them. He’s respectful of your boundaries and of what you represent as a person and individual. One of the fundamental signs that a man is in love with you is the way he sees you as a person, the way he’s willing to respect your freedom and avoid anything that does you harm. If your man knows your boundaries and respects them as they are with no negotiations, then your man loves you deeply.
He puts effort to meet and take care of your needs; He’s understanding of your needs, your ways of communication, and your boundaries; He’s respectful of your opposite opinions from his;
10. He accepts you and isn’t judgemental
Psychologically explained, once we fall in love we start lacking judgment towards the person we fell for. He sees the truth in you and who you are and he accepts what he sees. We tend to put the judging filter down when we love someone. So, a man will look at you and not see you as perfect, instead, he will see everything you are and not be judgmental about it. He will see the ‘weird’ side, the ‘imperfections’, everything really, and totally love them. He loves you.
He’s positive, joyful, and happy around you; He admires your behavior when you’re entirely yourself; You feel accepted and free to be exactly who you are around him;
11. He’s there for you: he’s caring and supportive
When he loves you he will show support, and he will be joyful for your achievements. He’ll want to be your hero. He’s someone you can trust, and count on. You feel like he’s got your back. He becomes this source of motivation with his support and cares toward you. When he really loves you, your success and achievements will be a source of happiness for him just as much as they are for you. That automatically positively affects your self-esteem, making you feel better about yourself and embrace yourself the way he does. His support reflects in little things too such as helping you out with chores or picking something up for you. When you need it, he’s there to remind you: “Baby, I got you.”
He puts effort into making you feel safe. He made himself a place of comfort and peace for you; His way of treating you makes you want to share ‘the good news’ with him first. He supports you in any way he can (emotionally, financially, etc) to achieve your goals and dreams; He gets excited and happy about your successes;
12. You’ve met important people in his life
A man that loves you will introduce you to ‘his people’, friends, or family no matter how ‘weird’ they might be. This is due to the rush of excitement one gets from the love and awe one feels for a person. He can’t wait to show his people how wonderful of a person he’s found. He’ll also want to meet ‘your people’, he will be curious to know who are the people that stood beside you, who helped in shaping your amazing personality.
‘His people’ are very nice to you, clearly, he told them a lot about you; He makes effort to impress people close to your heart; ‘Your people’ are happy for you, they notice he loves you.
13. He’s making future plans with you
When you experience love you tend to see that person as a significant part of your life. If a man loves you he’ll see a future with you, he’ll plan things that are months ahead of you. He might say something indirect that has to do with moving in together or going for a vacation together. It’s as if he sees himself being your husband one day. He wouldn’t do this with someone unless he feels a strong connection with them. You know how to tell if he really loves you by the way he treats the topic of the future with you.
He seems excited when he talks about the future with you; He asks you about where you see your life going, whether you like the thought of marriage (not with him specifically), or whether you like having kids or not; He’s investing time, emotions, and effort into the relationship.
14. He puts effort to solve problems in the relationship
The truth has settled in your connection and it doesn’t leave room for infidelity or any other toxic trait within the relationship. A man in love, instead of ignoring the problems tries to solve them. He commits to making things work because he just can’t afford to lose this beautiful being. He will do what it takes to make things work, or at least, he will try.
He’s sacrificing and compromising for the sake of the relationship; He provides what he’s capable of; He sticks with you through tough times;
15. He’s showing healthy levels of jealousy
When your boyfriend loves you he’ll be showing some healthy signs of jealousy. This for some of you might sound a little odd, but it’s actually in our genes to be a little jealous. We as species developed jealousy for rather ‘primitive’ reasons. However, it stuck with the human race for years and years. That rather ‘primitive’ jealousy still is part of daily lives where the internet & civilization are actually a thing.
He asks a little few more questions about your guy friends; His facial expressions change a little when other men approach you; He tells you he’s a bit jealous in particular cases;
16. He considers your opinions, thoughts, and advice
When he considers your opinions, thoughts, and advice it means he values you as a person, and he values your words all-in-all. He comes to you when he’s experiencing analysis paralysis, or when he’s faced with difficult decisions because he appreciates you and your thoughts. On the other hand, when it comes to decision-making within the relationship, your needs and thoughts are always considered before the decision is made.
He listens to you when you advise him on something; He makes a decision based on your opinions and takes on the topic; He genuinely cares about what you have to say on a particular issue be it personal or something about the relationship;
17. You sense he loves you
When love is truly there from his side, and yours, you’ll sense it. You’ll feel a certain way when you’re in his presence. You catch yourself saying “He’s in love with me”. He looks at you like he’s looking at his soulmate, he treats you well and as best as he can, and he seems to love your habits. He makes dinner when he knows you’re tired, he knows your favorites, and your smile seems to melt his heart. You’re left in awe of how much he cares, how accepting, and how attentive he is to you.
You can feel it in the way he kisses you; You feel safe, and genuinely loved by him; You’re not insecure when you’re around him;
18. Your connection goes beyond physical
It’s in eye contact, and the light touch of a hand, but it’s not limited to those. You can sense the emotional connection with him. It’s in the deep conversations, the way he hears and listens to you. The way there’s something in his eyes and the way he looks at you with admiration. Sure, the sex is good. But your connection goes beyond physical pleasure.
You feel a sense of deep emotional connection with him; Your conversations are long, meaningful, and playful when it’s time; He laughs when you laugh, and he hurts when you’re hurt;
19. His body language is open and welcoming when you’re around
We can see love if seen from a physiological perspective as well… Love can be sensed and expressed through nonverbal communication as well. It’s about behavior that’s not under the control of consciousness. – His pupils dilate when he looks at you. Pupil dilation also occurs when strong emotions are in play. Like seeing something exciting, or something ‘threatening’, they dilate for the eye to get more light in and ‘have a better look’ at the exciting/threatening object. In this case, his eyes want more of you hence his pupils dilate when he looks at you. – He mirrors you. He does it subconsciously – things like mirroring your movements, taking a similar posture as you, and so on. It shows he is engaged, he has an attraction/feelings for you, even though he does it subconsciously. – He gets touchy. Touching releases Oxytocin (also known as the love hormone), which is associated with bonding, attraction, and love. He’ll be subconsciously seeking that sense of bonding when he’s in love with you.
The difference between limerence and love – Is he infatuated or in love with you?
You can love your significant other in a myriad of ways. If we take a look at the Color Wheel Theory of Love, one of the primary love styles is Eros. It represents love both on a physical and emotional level that goes along with passion, pleasure, security, sexual chemistry, and so on. Considering there are many styles of love (e.g. Mania, Storge, etc ) and ways of showing affection to another person, how do you make the difference between real love and limerence or infatuation? Jumping to conclusions is easily done in such situations. He’s feeling this rush of feelings and emotions he may or may have not felt before. Limerence represents a sense of infatuation with a romantic partner in an intimate relationship. There’s romance involved, there’s passion, and there’s a strong sense of connection. However, when it comes to limerence, this sense of connection lasts as long as there’s reciprocation. Science explains love to be more of a fundamental sense of care you feel for someone despite their behavior toward you. Some signs of love include:
Surrender; Trust; Honesty and sincerity; Respect; A deep sense of care for their feelings, well-being, and health.
You can tell he loves you through his body language, how he looks at you, and how he cares for and accepts you. An expert knows the signs and will be there for you to let you know when you need to hear them. He’s willing to put effort, be selfless, open up, and be vulnerable around you. That’s a man in love, that’s how you tell that a guy loves you. You can tell a man is falling for you through the way he looks at you, takes initiative, and the way you spend more time together, you can feel a stronger connection between you two building. Love, Callisto
