Marriage is a life-altering decision and there are certain things that people should never compromise on. Sometimes, love is not enough to keep a relationship going. There are certain qualities in a man that make a relationship work – qualities that make you want him in your life for the years to come.
How Do You Choose The Right Man To Marry?
As young girls, most women tend to idealize the tall, dark, and handsome cliche. They put up posters of dreamy men on their bedroom walls and dream of a happily ever after with their prince charming. However, most of them change their mind as they grow older. In time, they realize it takes so much more than just physical attributes to make a relationship work. When it comes down to choosing a life partner, what lies within plays a far more important role. However, the definition of an ideal partner may vary from person to person. Some want their partners to be active, while others would not mind spending weekends curled up on the couch watching old movies. Some want a guy whose spiritual beliefs align with their own and others consider a love for animals to be a key quality. But no matter what your preference is, you want your life partner to be a good guy. You want someone you can lean on when life gets difficult, who will be with you through thick and thin. With whom you are not ashamed to be yourself and whose positive attitude will help you see the light in you when you can see it yourself. Here are some of the qualities of a good man in a relationship that you need to look out for in the man you wish to spend the rest of your life with.
Qualities Of A Good Man
Everyone has an ideal partner in their mind before they get married. I had created a dream boy in my head whom I considered the definition of a perfect guy. But the fact is no one is perfect. Your man doesn’t have to be either. He doesn’t have to look like Bradley Cooper or Zayn Malik. But he needs to have certain attributes that are required for a marriage to work. There are many qualities women admire in men. So, before you pop open that champagne bottle, go over this list and see if your partner checks all the qualities to look for in a man.
1. He sees you as an equal
He loves you, adores you, buys you cute things, and he’s got all that alluring magnetism to charm you. All these things are secondary. This is the real question — does he see you as an equal? This is the first question I ask my friends when they are dating someone or when they are ready to get married. Does this perfect guy give your thoughts and opinions their due weightage? Treating your partner as an equal is among the key characteristics of a good man. He can’t think of you as inferior to him. That will only distort the balance, and an imbalanced relationship is sure to collapse soon. You can create a balanced relationship with your SO only when he looks at you as an equal partner.
2. He is kind
This is perhaps one of the most wanted positive attributes to look out for if you are wondering, what qualities should a good man have. One needs to be kind to be a good person. Little acts of kindness make this world a better and happier place. It allows people to connect with each other and build strong and meaningful relationships. Kindness radiates positive vibes. When someone shows kindness toward you or themselves, it can boost confidence and self-esteem. Kindness is one of the most important qualities in a partner that you cannot compromise on.
3. He makes you laugh
A good sense of humor is rare and one of the most attractive qualities in a man. He doesn’t have to make you laugh all day long but enough to make you realize that he is the one. If he makes you laugh when you’re down and feeling dejected, then he certainly checks an important box in good traits in a man. That should tell you that he will be there for you to pick you up on your worst days. My partner and I find ways to make each other laugh. And let me tell you, laughing your heart out (with all the weird grunts and snorts) with the love of your life is one of the purest moments ever. No filters. Zero fear of being judged. Laughing together creates an atmosphere that surpasses all negativity. Couples that laugh together, stay together.
4. He is your friend before he is your lover
It’s rare to find both love and friendship in one person. When you find it, you’ll be able to build a relationship based on transparency. You can share everything with each other. All the darkest secrets and fears can be shared without being scared that your partner won’t like you anymore. When he listens to your past heartbreaks as a friend, yet loves you with all his heart, it’s one of the best qualities in a good man. There are so many reasons why you should be friends before lovers. Loving someone is more than just kisses, 3 AM snuggles, and date nights. One of the qualities of a good partner in marriage is also having the ability to handle the bad days like:
The painful menstrual nightsRanting about tyrant bossesBad hair daysDealing with toxic relatives
When your boyfriend becomes your best friend, the level of intimacy in the relationship elevates. If he is a good guy and is your best friend, then that’s one of the attractive personality traits of a good man that will make the relationship stronger.
5. He shows compassion and empathy
A good man in a relationship will always show compassion and find ways to be more empathetic in the relationship. Both empathy and compassion spring from the same desire – to put yourself in another person’s shoes. These two emotions are needed in everyday life. Can you imagine living with someone who isn’t sensitive to what you are going through? Such qualities of a good man are important in strengthening the relationship. It reduces stress and creates emotional awareness between couples. Empathy helps understand the burden of heavy thoughts. Being compassionate promotes resilience. It will help you put aside judgments and be there for each other in difficult times.
6. Cute romantic gestures
While some people love a lot of extravagance and pizzazz, some prefer little acts of love. I am one of them. There are some romantic gestures that just make things a lot better in a relationship:
Waking up to his good morning textsReceiving funny memesHim texting you to see if you’ve reached homeTaking long walks on the beach despite the sand getting in his eyesTaking you out to dinner even when there’s nothing to celebrateSurprising you with fresh flowers and brownies
These gestures are inherent to the personality of a good man. He will do all this and a lot more to make you feel loved and cherished. Ah, that’s how I fell for my current partner. If he takes time out of his busy schedule just to spend time with you, it should tell you about his intentions. He is not playing around with you. He is serious about you.
7. Qualities of a good man include being thoughtful and helpful
Sometimes, we are so engrossed in our own lives that we mess up our priorities. When your significant other is thoughtful, he will make sure that you don’t forget what is important to you.
He will remind you to stay hydratedHe will take care of your sibling and parents He will help with household work when you are overburdened (and even when you are not)
All of these point to the qualities of a good partner in marriage. These are some of the things every girl wants from her boyfriend. Gone are the days when only women were expected to take care of the kids, their parents, and even their husband’s parents. If a wife is taking care of the kids, so should the husband. If you think your partner won’t mind changing the diapers and cleaning up the mess when your baby throws up, say yes to him without any hesitation. Those are the qualities in a good man for a happy marriage.
8. He is responsible
By responsible, I don’t mean to say look for a man who will take responsibility for you financially. If you are independent, you don’t have to worry about a man looking after your expenses. But if he feels responsible to keep you happy and content, then that’s the kind of man you need to say yes to for marriage. If your partner is a hardworking, honest man, who is motivated and has ambitions and goals, then what are you waiting for? These are all attractive qualities in a man. And a driven man is better than a man who doesn’t know what he wants in life.
9. Loyalty and faithfulness
If you need love to build a relationship, then you need loyalty to keep it going. Loyalty is one of the important qualities of a good man. Being loyal brings about a certainty that you will be there for your partner no matter what. It’s a way of promising each other that nothing can come in the way of your happiness and peace. If he constantly tries to build loyalty in a relationship, then he is the one for you. Moral integrity is central to any relationship. When a partner betrays the other, it wreaks havoc on a relationship. So, look for a man who is loyal to you, his friends, and his family.
10. Being patient is one of the qualities in a good man
In this fast-paced world, patience is thinning and on the verge of perishing in most people. Fast food restaurants, fast internet, and fast-forwarding the scenes in a movie when it gets boring – all of these are reducing our ability to stay patient. Not many people know how to be patient in a relationship anymore, which is what makes it one of the must-have qualities in a partner. When we act impatiently toward someone, it shows you don’t have the time to listen to and deal with their issues. When you are patient with your partner, it will help them see the best in you. It’s one of the most meaningful and underrated qualities of a good man.
11. He is a good listener
How many times have you prattled on without knowing if the other person is interested in your stories or not? If you are wondering what qualities should a man have in a relationship, then add a good listener to the list. Communication can never be one-sided. The person who is talking is not only expressing their feelings but also hoping the listener is understanding and empathizing with what is being shared. A good man in a relationship will listen to you intently and won’t be judgmental.
12. He supports your dreams
The most fundamental characteristic of a good man is that he supports your dreams and ambitions. If he has a positive attitude and supports you despite all the failures, it means he is opening a safe space for you. There are many fundamentals of support in a relationship such as:
Emotional supportEsteem supportInformational support
And all of these are extremely important when trying to build a future together. A supportive partner is one of the qualities to look for in a man because it means he loves you unconditionally. As the famous saying goes, “Grow together and glow together.”
13. He is good in bed
We can’t overlook this, can we? For many people, it is vital to have a satisfying sexual experience to sustain a relationship. Sex is important to feel intimate with your partner. His ability to satisfy you in bed will go a long way in keeping the spark alive in the relationship. Being good in bed and considerate of your needs and pleasure are qualities of a good man. And that’s one of the green flags you should consider.
14. Values emotional intimacy
There are many types of intimacy in a relationship, one of which is emotional intimacy. While it’s important to have physical intimacy, it is equally important to have emotional intimacy with your partner. Emotional intimacy is what enables you to be vulnerable, open, and honest with each other. If your partner has shown you his flaws, scars, failures, and insecurities, then he is the one for you. One of the qualities of a good man in a relationship is that he will never be afraid of showing his vulnerable side to his partner. While some men think it will impact their manhood if they cry in front of their partner, an ideal man won’t be afraid of crying his heart out with the person he loves. It means he loves you to the point of being an emotional wreck in front of you. That’s another green flag, folks!
15. He is courteous and chivalrous
If you think chivalry is outdated and irrelevant in times of equality and cannot go hand in hand with feminism, then you might be in for a surprise. Chivalry is one of the admirable qualities in a good man that I look for.
He opens doors for youHe stands up as you walk inHe walks on the traffic side of the road
It doesn’t mean he is trying to insinuate that you aren’t capable of doing the same things for yourself. It means he is willing to go that extra mile to prioritize your comfort. Some men are turned off by feminists. If he is one such man, then he isn’t the one for you. However, being courteous doesn’t have anything to do with misogyny, in fact, it involves being gentle and soft. It’s the little things such as these that are tantamount to being gentlemanly, civilized, and respectful.
16. He respects your family
When you are in a serious relationship, it becomes essential to respect each other’s families. If you are looking for good qualities in a man, then notice how he treats the members of your family – the people who raised you and cared for you. If he can’t respect the most important people in your life, chances are things are not going to change that much in the future. An ideal man would never disrespect your loved ones intentionally.
17. He is emotionally mature
Emotional maturity is the ability to understand, manage, and control your emotions when they are at a peak. Challenging situations cause reckless emotions, but if he is mature enough to handle a heated argument, then those are good traits in a man and good reasons to stay in a relationship and even think about marriage. Emotional immaturity will create problems in the relationship. A man who doesn’t know how to restrain his emotions or control his anger can never be right for you. They will find it hard to communicate and empathize. Most people with emotional immaturity are known to be selfish and aloof toward other people’s emotions and feelings.
18. He isn’t shy to ask for your advice
If he isn’t shy to ask you for your advice and opinion, then those are the qualities of a good man that will keep you happy for the rest of your life. It means he is including you in his big and small decisions. He wants to hear your opinions because he respects you. It is how a man shows love without saying it. If your partner asks for your advice, then that is his way of letting you know that your opinions matter to him. It’s a small act but believe me, that little act helps in creating a balanced relationship. It has a bonding power that cannot be compared to other qualities of a good man.
19. He never stops to get to know you
Some people quit making the effort to discover new things about their partners once they are sure that the other person is madly in love with them. These are not qualities in a good man for marriage. There are many relationship-building questions to ask your partner to get to know them better. Always be curious about one another. By being curious, I don’t poke your nose in each other’s business all the time. People evolve with time and believe me even after a lifetime of knowing one another, you will always find something new. Just don’t ever stop learning new things about your partner.
20. He is caring
The feeling of being one with each other is important in a relationship. That oneness helps in creating a strong bond. If your partner is caring and shows you affection emotionally and physically, then those are the qualities in a good man. Tenderness and care are the basics of a romantic relationship. Showing someone you care can involve simple acts of thoughtfulness, such as:
Taking care of them when they are sickIf they are stuck in the snow, helping them get out of itRestocking on chocolates during the time of the month
21. He respects your beliefs
Good traits in a man reflect in how he reacts and responds to your beliefs. Everyone grows up with a set of beliefs and value systems by which they lead their lives. Whether it’s politics or spiritual beliefs or basic moral integrity, if your opinions don’t align, then all you have to do is be respectful and don’t pass hurtful slurs against their belief system. If he doesn’t value your faith and your core values, then it is one of the signs of a lack of respect in a relationship. If you don’t agree with your partner, here is something you can do:
Hear out what they have to sayYou can agree to disagree, but keep the lines of communication open.Avoid mocking or insulting
Good traits in a man involve all of the above. These are essentials and can’t be glossed over. If you have found all these qualities in a good man, then what are you waiting for? Go ahead and say a big yes. It’s time to flaunt that ring. This article has been updated in October 2022
