Sexologist Dr Paras Shah says, “A fake orgasm cannot be a good thing for either the man or the woman. The woman has clearly given up at the sex but wants the man to walk away feeling like he did a great job. “But this results in the man feeling like a champion in bed further straying away from understanding his partner’s needs. This way, he will never know or understand what a woman needs from him in bed.”
What Is The Need For A Fake Orgasm?
Sex without an orgasm is like an ice-cream cone without the ice cream, monsoon without rain, a petticoat without the nada, a printer without ink and a national holiday that falls on a Sunday. It’s frustrating! So why would anyone fake it? Good sex is only good when one has achieved orgasm especially female orgasm because that one is slightly tougher to come by. Pop culture? Hollywood films? Women’s magazines? Something out there has got much thinking of and associating a fake orgasm with some kind of manipulative sex sirens who exist out there to trap men. The truth is far from it. Dr Paras Shah, who has years of experience in sexual medicine, solves the mystery. He says, “About 50% of women have at some point, faked orgasms.” What he shares further is an eye opener about women faking orgasms. Dr Paras Shah is the Chief Sexologist, Gujarat Research and Medical Institute and Director, Sannidhya Institute and Research Center for Sex, Sexuality and Health.
6 Reasons Why Women Fake Orgasms
Having to pretend a fake orgasm will only lead to a really sad sex life. It is true that it takes longer for women to achieve the final O and women can’t orgasm as easily as men. But ignoring the needs of women completely is no way of resolving that. “A man and woman should both be committed to giving each other to have a great time in bed. The effort is what counts! Unfortunately, sometimes women give up and have a fake orgasm,” said Dr. Shah. Here are 6 reasons why women fake orgasms.
1. Women fake orgasms out of fear
Some women have dominating partners with short tempers, anger issues and insensitivity to their needs. Someone who has wrapped his masculinity around his genitals, if he comes to know that now this one woman is not able to climax, he will yell at her and accuse her too. “Everybody gets off with my moves, why can’t you? You’re frigid.” These are phrases that women get to hear. She’ll fake the orgasm and let his ego bloat further to save herself from abuse, both verbal and physical. A woman does not need to hear crap like that for simply wanting to have a great time in bed. If she is wise, she’ll cut him out of her life ASAP and not just because of his poor sexual performance. But… stats say that most women who fake orgasms in such situations do it out of fear that if they don’t, the man may leave them!
2. Weak at sex but a determined partner
Her partner is one of those who makes it his goal to get his woman to climax, but he isn’t that good at it. He is not going to stop until she finishes. So after he has been going on to no result, faking it is the only way she can make him stop. She respects him and definitely also admires his persistence, don’t get us wrong. But whatever reason there might be, it is just not working out between them sexually. To save face and avoid distressing her partner about his performance, she will have a fake orgasm just to let the issue slide.
3. Man versus woman
As clichéd as it sounds, ‘women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex’. We’ve heard this way too many times, have we not? So if a woman doesn’t climax, she may let it go the one odd time. It is clear, men and women approach sex differently. She already has a loving man and that matters the most in the world to her. Also, she may be protecting his feelings and lets him believe that he did a good job. Her priority is love, and she doesn’t care about the rest. She wants him despite him doing an average job in bed. “But that can be a little toxic. Instead of having a fake orgasm, communicating one’s needs is far more important. One can only go so long with their sexual needs being sidelined,” says Dr. Shah.
3. Save the occasion by having a fake orgasm
How can she let an excellent opportunity be spoilt? Everything was going so well. The ambience was unique. Parents took the child out to visit relatives. The foreplay was divine. Everything was steamy and better than the movies. Why would she ever try and ruin that? But her orgasm has decided to take the day off. She doesn’t want to tarnish the moment. The clock is ticking; the family will be back soon. It just feels like the best thing to her to fake it not to ruin the occasion.
4. Psych the mind
This is interesting. Pretending to have an orgasm to induce a real one. Ever heard of this before? People do not really assume this to be a common reason but sadly, it is. Women fake orgasm because they feel like if they do so, a real one will naturally come to them. This is one way she thinks she will achieve the big O. This can work well but unfortunately can backfire too. One might end up faking to the end, and that’s no fun. Proceed with caution!
5. Weak communication causes having a fake orgasm
All of the above can be attributed to poor communication or fragile relationships. If the connection is mature and has developed to a comfortable place, if she is not afraid of her man and her man’s ego is not wrapped around his sexual prowess, the woman will be warm enough, to be honest with him. If she knows that her man cares about her just as much as she cares for him, she will be open about telling him how she really feels. “Sexual intimacy is a valuable and intimate part of a couple of relationships. It should never be considered as a performance appraisal,” said Dr. Shah. Beautiful sex can be a result of only a mature relationship where both partners can have clear, open and frank communication with each other. There are many things average in this world; love shouldn’t be one of them and nor should sex.
