Crushes are nerve-wracking; you simply don’t know what to do! If your emotions going haywire isn’t bad enough, your mind is plagued by endless doubts. If you have a crush and you haven’t told him, then you start to wonder: Does he like me back? Is this text hinting that he likes me? If you get to know he likes you back, then it is: Why does he like me? Does he only like me for my body or for me? Does he only like me when he’s drunk? Does he like me or is he just being nice? These questions feel all too familiar to anyone who has dealt with crushes. So how do you come to know the answer to “Does he like me back?”
Does He Like Me Back? 17 Ways To Know
During the transition from the easiness of childhood to the confusion of adulthood, everyone goes through similar emotions of attraction, crushes, first loves, and first heartbreaks. You see your friends, and occasionally even yourself, circle the same doubts of “He likes me”, “He likes me not”, “Does he like me back?”, “How do I find out if he likes me back?” Be it your teens, twenties, thirties, or forties, these questions persist whenever you navigate the dating scene. You’re not alone, because when it comes to understanding guys and their feelings, they can be hard to read for many of us. So how do you find out if he likes you back? We have compiled a list of 17 ways for you to answer the never-ending ‘does he like me back?’ puzzle. If any of these are relatable, it might be time to reconsider the platonic relationships in your life!
1. Body language betrayal (but the good kind)
Body language is one of the primary indicators of a person’s interest in you. When it comes to guys, there are a few actions that can disclose his intentions. For example, does he lean in when you are talking to him? Does he have prolonged eye contact with you while having a conversation? Are there moments when you are hanging out with him and you crack a joke which would make people cringe, but he laughs aloud? When you see him, does his face light up? Research explored the relationship between interpersonal attraction and enacted behavior in 2018 and came up with tangible proof of the importance of attraction in the creation and control of interpersonal relationships, and how that attraction is highlighted by particular actions linked with trust. So if your answers to the questions above have been yes, chances are your suspicions are correct and he does like you back.
2. He tries to impress you endlessly
Have you ever been out on a date with a guy you really like and he just cannot shut up about his accomplishments and achievements? My friend Camille shared her story, “I went on this date where the guy, although chivalrous, kept bragging about his company and his proficiency in his field. By the end of the date, I was so fed up that I couldn’t get away fast enough.” It can be quite irritating and off-putting and there certainly are times when you, like Camille, can’t help but think “Does he like me back, or is he just in love with himself?” But in an incredibly twisted way, this is a sign that he likes you. When guys like someone, they primarily want to make sure that the person is impressed enough to be interested in them. Bragging about their accomplishments is a safe space for guys because their achievements make them happy about themselves. So they seek to impress you with their talents as well.
3. He goes out of his way to be around you
It is a common human tendency to want to hang out and spend more time with the people who make you happy. If you are looking for an answer to “Does he like me back?”, pay a little attention to his comings and goings around you. Oftentimes, when guys like someone back, they tend to blow off plans with friends or create plans with you separately to ensure that you end up spending quality time with them. The next time you hang out with him, ask him if he had any other plans. If he gets evasive about answering the question, you might have your answer!
4. He drunk texts/calls you
Growing up with crushes, drunk texts and calls come as no surprise to most of us. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and makes you forward and honest, more so than when you’re sober. It is an old adage that “A drunk mind speaks a sober heart”, and we couldn’t agree more. A study found that one of the top three reasons for drunk dialing was “called a person you were romantically interested in or involved with to see if they were willing to meet you later in the evening”. According to the same study, intoxication leads to unfiltered honesty which gets expressed when the person drunk dials you. So the next time he calls you when he’s drunk and your mind fills with the thoughts of “Does he like me back or does he only like me when he’s drunk?”, yes he does like you back, and no, it’s not just him being drunk. Chances are he’s a shy guy and alcohol just helps him express his feelings for you without self-consciousness. There’s a flip side to this, of course. Imagine a scenario where a guy likes you but you have no feelings for him. He drunk calls to tell you how much he wishes you were with him. You might then wonder, “Does he still like me after I rejected him?” Alcohol can lead to revelations of all kinds, from the ones that are welcome to the ones that make you cringe.
5. He texts you first and keeps the conversation going
There are several ways guys hint they like you through text, and texting you first every time is a clear indicator. Guys do not go out of their way to text someone (unless it’s their mom) and if he texts you first, be it a meme, a “How’s your day been so far?”, or even a simple “Hey!”, be assured that he does like you back. Of course, texting first cannot be the only indicator. Guys are simple creatures, in the way that if they find you interesting, like you, and want to make sure that you know it too, they will keep the conversation going at all costs. This is one of the major ways guys hint they like you through text.
6. He gets jealous
Jealousy, although an ugly emotion, is a sure-fire way to find out a man’s feelings toward you. Research on romantic jealousy in relationships discovered that jealousy in relationships is associated with insecure and anxious attachments. Of course, there are more mature ways to know the answer to “Does he like me back?” but if you are a little juvenile like me, the green-eyed monster always has your back. If other men flirt with you, compliment you, or even look at you around a guy who likes you back, try as he might, the jealousy will show up on his face and sometimes even in his actions. Just be on the lookout, and you’ll know.
7. He teases you and gives you cute nicknames
I had a best friend who had a very specific nickname for me. It’s not like he didn’t have other female friends, he just reserved that nickname for me to the point that I debated whether or not he knew my actual name. Fast forward to a month later, he confessed that he had liked me for almost two months and he wanted to see if we could date. Playful behavior is a huge indicator of a person’s willingness to engage in romantic intimacy. Giving you nicknames, teasing you endlessly, irritating you – all of these are subtle signals that he likes you and probably wants to be more than friends.
8. He wants to know your insecurities and helps you accept them
When you like someone, you want them to be happy and secure in who they are. It is all too easy to get caught up in the web of insecurities and self-hatred, especially with questions of self-doubt like “Why does he like me back?” Feeling inadequate, like you aren’t enough, and that he deserves better than you, are thoughts that can eat you up inside. However, if a guy gives you time and space to open up and unveil your insecurities and then stays to help you overcome them, can there be a bigger green flag? If you feel secure enough to be the worst (not abusive) version of yourself in front of the guy you like and have him accept you regardless, you can definitely put your doubts about his affections to rest.
9. He doesn’t show a romantic inclination toward anyone else
When a guy is genuinely attracted to you, he wants to make sure that you know (albeit in a roundabout way) that you’re the only person who captures his attention. So if you see him never talk about his attractions in conversations with you or even pay much attention to potential romantic candidates who come up to him, trust that you won’t need to worry about the ‘does he like me back’ conundrum at all!
10. He is protective of you
In ancient times, men were supposed to be the brave protectors and women soft and nurturing. We have definitely come a long way from the archaic gender associations (hello feminism!) but if there is one thing that hasn’t changed, it is the male tendency to protect that which he deems precious. A guy showing that he is protective of you (and therefore, likes you) manifests in small ways. Rosa, a reader who has been in a relationship for 2.5 years, shares, “Moving me away from traffic when we were walking on the road, helping me out with tasks like carrying heavy stuff, making sure that I eat on time, etc. – these are all the things my partner would do for me when we were ‘friends’. It used to make me wonder – Does he like me or is he just being nice? So one day, I asked him head-on. And here we are!” If your guy has been doing little things for you, it may just be more than chivalry.
11. He tries to look his best around you
According to evolutionary psychology theories, we often want to appear our best, most irresistible selves in order to entice possible romantic partners into pursuing a relationship with us. It dates back to ancient times when evolution and continuing the human race was the sole priority of procreation but in today’s times, this action is a foolproof sign of his attraction to you. Weston, now married to his husband of 2 years, shares with us, “When we were just friends, he would come to meet me in shorts and his raggiest, most comfortable t-shirt. He never cared for my opinion until he started liking me romantically.” He laughs, and adds, “So huge was the contrast in the way he dressed up for me after he caught feelings, that I was forced to wonder, does he like me back? He did. And here we are.” So the next time you’re with a guy, try to see if he’s making an effort to look nicer for you or seem cooler, friendlier, smarter, or funnier. These tiny indicators can help you achieve your answer with no confusion and who knows, maybe you’ll find your forever partner on the way.
12. Making you smile or laugh is his main M.O.
A study compared flirting styles and behaviors. According to it, traditional male flirts usually exhibit assertive and open behavior, and engaging and teasing behaviors are displayed by the more playful flirts. Playful flirts don’t take flirting too seriously and their main agenda is to have fun in the process. Their behavior includes cracking jokes to make you notice them, trying to catch your eye in some goofy way, essentially making you laugh and realize the amount of fun you have with them around. On the other hand, the traditional male flirts keep their intentions clear when it comes to ‘does he like me back?’ signals. They tend to be well-dressed for you and make sure you know that they are in it for some sort of commitment. TikTok has endless videos on ‘signs a guy likes you’ where guys reveal what they do when they like someone, and making you smile or laugh is at the top! Guys love it when the person they are into is happy and full of life – and if the reason is them, then even better. If he’s not afraid of acting weird and silly just for a laugh from you, know that he is love-struck and it’s just a matter of time before a confession comes your way.
13. He talks to his friends about you
Friendships are ride-or-die, especially when your friends are people whom you’d trust with your life. Whenever you have news, your friends are definitely the first people you want to go and share your news with and you can trust them to always be happy for you (even if they tease you mercilessly). Having said that, if you find out from anywhere (cough mutual friends cough) that a guy talked to his friends about you, it can help clear up so many of your doubts. Especially because you can trust him to be completely honest with his closest friends.
14. He replies quickly to you
I once dated a guy who would never text me first. He couldn’t even be bothered to reply to my texts on time. His reason? I’d give you one but he changed them so much that they kept blurring after one point. I hated that relationship. It made me feel like the basic communication that I expected from him was too much and that created resentment and doubts along the lines of “Does he still like me or am I asking for too much?” that ultimately led to our break-up. The guy I dated after him was the complete opposite. He would reply to my texts so quickly it made me feel unsettled. Not only that, he’d text me first and voluntarily share the happenings of his day. After the relationship I had before, this was a completely new arena and it made me confused but also cherished. This was a relationship where I didn’t need to beg for attention, where I was a priority and he let me know it. This is a huge indication of a man’s affection for you. Answering your text quickly, making sure you know that he prioritizes his communications with you when the two of you aren’t together, and not making you feel like you’re unimportant in his life- it all goes a long way to assure you that he likes you back.
15. He stays off his phone when he is with you
In the 21st century, when phones and social media are everything, parting from your mobile for even a short period of time seems like an unrealistic expectation. Everyone is updating moments of their life and every second reveals a new occasion to be documented. In such an era, finding someone who prefers talking to your face instead of their phone is a rarity in itself. And if you find someone who actually sets his phone aside for the entire duration that you are with them, it just proves how much they prefer your company. Staying off his phone to spend time with you is a legitimate reason to vanquish the ‘does he like me back?’ doubt from your mind.
16. He remembers the little things about you
Of the five types of love languages, dating someone whose love language is gift-giving is perhaps my favorite. Probably because gift-receiving is ‘my’ love language. Nothing beats the feeling of being handed a box wrapped in shiny wrapping paper, tearing it open, and realizing that you have been given something that you have wanted forever. Having the guy you like remember your little quirks goes a long way toward cementing affections. Barb, a 25-year-old freelance designer, shares with us, “I really liked my friend, Seth. I used to wonder, does he like me back? I remember instances when I was late for class and missed my daily caffeine intake only to find him waiting for me with an extra cup of coffee outside class. Or when I would be making notes and not paying attention, until later, when I’d realize that he kept handing me the right colored pen I needed for each subheading. These are small instances that warmed my heart and made me realize he likes me too.”
17. He gives you special attention around his friends
Getting you to hang out with his friends is a big step in any budding romance. However, if you are still at the ‘does he like me back?’ stage, one thing that you can do is observe how he treats you around his friends and how his friends act around you. If they like you and feel comfortable around you, you’ll see them tease him about you, or find them telling you embarrassing stories about him. These are indications that they approve of you for their friend. Also, if you see him bringing you into conversations around his friends, being comfortable with having you around them, or finding ways to have subtle physical contact with you (like casually slinging his arm around your shoulders, maintaining considerable eye contact, etc.), you can ease your apprehension because trust me, he likes you back. Determining whether someone likes you back can be an exhausting endeavor, especially when you cannot just go up to them and ask. However, knowing there are clear signs of someone’s affections toward you definitely helps a lot. Instead of giving in to the fears of rejection and uncertainty, and never finding out what could have been, own your self-worth, accept your inner confident spirit, arm yourself with these 17 tips, and find out whether he likes you back. It would save you a lot of heartbreak and regret in the future and help you ascend to a happier, more fulfilled version of yourself.
