Funniest Drunk Boyfriend Stories
Apart from doing the usual every-freaking-Friday kind of thing after two pegs of vodka mixed with five shots of tequila, there are times when an appropriate form of behaviour is stretched way, way beyond. The inner child comes forth and nothing seems too wild to be executed. Chances are it was meant to be a serious thing when they did it, but the execution took the seriousness out of it. What’s left behind is a huge mass of blurry memories and chunks of “What the hell did I do that for?” Here are tales told by women of all the things their boyfriends did when they were drunk.
1. My boyfriend was quick on his feet
“My boyfriend and I were coming back at 3 in the morning. We got pulled over at the end of Park Street. He was drunk and so if they figured it out (which they did) that we were drunk driving, it would mean a trip to a Kolkata jail. So after pulling over, he left the steering wheel, jumped to the back seat and told me to drive. Mind you, the car was still moving. When the policeman came, it was me who was driving while my boyfriend pretended to sleep in the back seat. They let us go with a fine.”
2. When you talk to your mother instead of the girlfriend
“We were at a party and got into this massive fight because both of us were drunk. I was sitting in the verandah and he was at the other corner of the house with his friends. After thirty minutes he had called me up and apologised for fighting with me. (The story narrated by my friends). But I did not get any call from him. Turns out, he drunk dialled his mother and talked to her thinking it was me. I cannot imagine the sort of things he must have told her.”
3. The “I-could-eat-chicken” moment
“My boyfriend is from a staunch vegetarian family. He had never tasted anything non-veg and I had never asked him to because I respected his choice. Once it happened that we had all gone to a restaurant and were having kebabs. He opted for veg kebabs of course. But a friend jokingly said that the veg kebab tasted like meat. My boyfriend got so repulsed by the whole idea that he did not touch his dinner that night. I am saying this to give you an idea of how much of a vegetarian he is. But all that changed when he got stark drunk one day.We were having a tequila party at a friend’s place and we actually had no idea how lethal tequila shots could be. After his third shot, a friend asked my boyfriend to have chicken wings and if he could manage that he would give him Rs 5000. I had thought my drunk boyfriend wouldn’t take up the bet but to my utter surprise, he did. I thought okay maybe he would have one and stop at that to win the bet. I still blackmail him that I would tell his parents what he did that night and he admits he has no memory of what he did. It’s another thing I used Rs 5000 to pick some cosmetics.”
4. Wait for you at your door if that’s what’s needed to be done
“My boyfriend and I had a fight. That night he got super drunk and kept calling me. I did not answer. Turns out he was sitting at my door and calling me to ask me to open the door and wanted to make things okay. He passed out and I discovered him the next morning. He was so drunk he could not even remember whether he rang the doorbell. He spent the whole night outside my door. I think that’s cute but also funny.”
5. Rave on and on to complete strangers
“We were at this pub on New Year’s. Before midnight, my boyfriend disappears and we could not find him anywhere. After the countdown was over, we find him sitting and chatting about New Year’s resolutions with complete strangers. When I walked up to him he points at me and says “This is the love of my life I have been raving about.” The strangers were good people and told me how adorably he has been going on about me to them.”
6. A boyfriend who left me stranded
“While my boyfriend and I were posted in Chennai, we used to visit Pondicherry almost every weekend. On one such visit, after getting super drunk, he got pissed at the loud music, left the bar, went to Rock Beach and slept on a bench. The cleaning people had to ask him to get up. As drunk as he was he had forgotten I was with him. He dialled an Uber and told him to take him to his place in Chennai (which is 3 hours away). He passed out in the cab and the trip cost him Rs 3k. All this happened in the few minutes I was in the bathroom. I look back and laugh now but then I freaked out when I couldn’t find him anywhere.”
7. Inquisitive about the female body
“My ex-boyfriend never really drank anything apart from beer. But once, he got drunk after two pegs of vodka. It was his birthday and I found him in my lingerie, stuffing the bra with crumpled up newspaper. His excuse: He wanted to see if women could look at their toes while standing straight.” These confessions are truly hilarious and drunk boyfriends could actually end up doing bizarre things after having a few swigs. Now you know why you should have someone keep a watch on your drunk boyfriend when you are going to the washroom at the pub?
