There’s no denying that you like her. She’s fun, interesting, and everything you’ve been looking for in a woman. And yet, telling her how you feel seems scary. What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if she throws you in the dreaded friend zone? It used to be that people valued face-to-face conversation when sharing their innermost secrets. But today, with so many people relying on virtual communication to connect with others, there’s nothing wrong with texting her about your feelings. Are you ready to take your relationship to the next level? Here’s the definitive guide on how to tell a girl you like her over text.
How to Make the Most of Your Text Conversation
Texts are limitless, and there’s so much you can pack into a single message. But how do you make the most of these conversations? And how do you ensure that your intentions come across the right way? It’s important to tell a girl you like her without being too forward or creepy. You don’t want to make her feel awkward. You also don’t want to put her on the spot to respond immediately.
Texts to Send If You Haven’t Met Yet
If you haven’t met the girl you like in real life, you need to be thoughtful with your words. No matter how well you’ve connected online, you can’t know how you really feel until you’ve interacted in person. Remember that it’s possible your chemistry might even change after you spend time together. Here’s how to move things forward:
“When Can I Take You on a Real Date?”
This forward question cuts right to the chase. It shows that you want to move your virtual conversation into real life. You don’t want to just spend time texting her. You want to get to know her intimately. Best of all? This question is assertive enough that it basically requires a direct response. So, she’ll most likely either give you an answer indicating when she’s ready, flirt back, or tell you that she’s not interested. Regardless of her reaction, you’ll have valuable information about how she feels about the situation. And if she answers, whenever, it’s time for you to take the next step in planning and organizing the date. Remember there’s a good chance she wants you to take the lead.
“You Are So Beautiful”
Did she send you a selfie? If so, that’s easy access for a genuine compliment. Don’t ever pass up the opportunity to text a girl how attractive you find her. If beautiful doesn’t feel like the right word, consider swapping it out for gorgeous, sexy, pretty, or adorable. The main thing is that you want to emphasize that you like her appearance! But be genuine with her response. If your text sounds over-the-top or inauthentic, she might dismiss your message altogether.
“I’m Thinking About You Right Now”
Most women love knowing that they feel desired. She’ll probably find it sweet that you’ve let her know she’s on your mind. If she responds back positively, there’s a good chance she likes you, too!
“This Reminds Me of You”
It’s fun to send a girl small reminders throughout the day. For example, if she always complains about needing to do chores, you might send her that text along with a picture of your sink full of dirty dishes. Or, if she mentioned liking a certain song, you might send her a screenshot of that song playing while you work out. This sweet text shows that she’s often on your mind. But it also shows that you’ve integrated parts of her life into your life.
Flirty Texts to Send Her
Maybe you don’t want to be so direct in telling her that you like her over text. This might be true if you’re still in the getting-to-know-you stage. It might also be true if you both are friends, but you realize that you’re developing deeper feelings. Here are some ways to flirt and indirectly tell a girl that you like her over text:
“I Dreamt About You Last Night. Want to Know What Happened?”
She’s told she was in your dreams. If that’s not steamy, what is? Just keep the content playful and appropriate to the situation. If you two haven’t been physical yet, you don’t want to give a detailed commentary on her body or sexual details! That’s the fastest way to make someone feel uncomfortable.
“You Looked So Good Last Night”
Nothing like telling a beautiful girl how beautiful she is. If she’s into you, this text will probably have her smiling at her phone and responding back to you immediately!
“I’m About to Hire a Dating Coach”
Send this flirty message, and you’re bound to get why sent back to you. When she does, you can simply say, Because maybe they could help me brave enough to actually ask you out.
Best Text Messages to Send After the First Date
You finally went out with the girl you like. The night felt effortless, and you have an amazing time! So, what’s your next move? Here are some sample messages to consider sending:
“I Had Such a Great Time With You”
Short, simple, and to the point. But it shows that you valued spending time with her, and every credible dating coach would agree that less can be more when it comes to talking about attraction.
“I Can’t Wait to See You Again”
If you had a great time, let her know! And don’t be afraid to lock down a certain date. For example, you might say, I can’t wait to see you again. What are your plans next Friday?
“You’re Amazing”
Amazing captures the true essence of attraction. Not only do you find her breathtaking, but you adore her personality. She’s the entire package, and you calling her amazing lets her know that!
“I’m Catching Feelings for You”
If it’s true, it’s true! You’re expressing that you’re interested in her. It’s also lighthearted enough that she’ll probably respond back playfully.
“What Do You Want to Do Next Time We Hang Out?”
This is a bold text that assumes that there is a next time. But if you’re fairly confident she feels the same way about you, it gets the conversation flowing and helps you two plan what’s next for the relationship.
“Do You Even Know How Great You Are?”
She probably doesn’t! But don’t pass up the valuable opportunity to let her know how great you think she is.
Other Texting Considerations
There are a few implied rules that apply when you’re texting a person that you like. While not all girls follow this “code,” these are some helpful guidelines if you feel unsure about how you’re interacting with her.
Don’t Reach Out When You Know She’s Busy
Ideally, you should text her when you know she’s around. For example, if she told you she’s going to a family party all afternoon, wait until it’s later in the evening before reaching out. Texting her when she’s unavailable may come across as:
clingy (like you can’t spend a few minutes without hearing from her)controlling (like you need to know what she’s doing at any given moment)dismissive (like you didn’t pay attention when she told you she was going to be busy)
Of course, if she reaches out when you know she’s busy, feel free to get back to her. She might be feeling bored or overwhelmed or restless at that moment. There’s a good chance she’ll be relieved she has someone to talk to while she’s out and about.
Don’t Keep Double-Texting
It may be tempting to reach out a few times when you feel excited or want to keep talking. You might also find yourself texting her when you haven’t heard from her in a while. But some women may find this behavior clingy and unattractive. They may perceive you as being insecure or too forward with your approach. Ideally, you should wait until she responds to each message before texting her back.
Ask Follow-Up Questions!
Try to keep the conversation going. When she texts you, don’t just respond with a one-liner or emoji. That’s a surefire way to shut down any conversation. You don’t want to make her dig for more information. If she asks what you’re doing, make sure that you ask her as well. And remember that if a girl likes you, she’ll want to keep responding.
Don’t Always Respond Immediately
It’s never a good sign if you’re seemingly always available. Women want to know that you have your own thing going on. They also want to know that if you’re out with friends, you aren’t just glued to your phone waiting for a response. This doesn’t mean you need to ignore her. But there’s nothing wrong with keeping things a bit mysterious and letting her miss you. You might find that it keeps the conversation more engaging.
Keep Things Funny and Lighthearted
When you’re texting one another, don’t shy away from jokes, sarcasm, and other quips. Girls love seeing a man’s playful side. That said, if humor isn’t your thing, don’t just put on a facade. You certainly don’t need to be an inauthentic person when you’re talking to someone you like. But there’s something to be said about lightening the mood and showing that you don’t take life super seriously.
Try to Follow Her Style and Pacing
Try to match how she texts you. For example, don’t send elaborate paragraphs if she always responds to your messages with just a sentence or two. If she’s never available on Saturday night because that’s when she’s out with friends, it’s probably a bad idea to reach out during that time. With that in mind, you don’t need to let her take the lead entirely. There’s nothing wrong with asserting confidence and going after what you want. But if you’re in the beginning stages of trying to attract a girl, you also want her to feel comfortable. You don’t want to come across as intrusive in her daily life.
Show That You Remember the Small Details
Did she just start a new job? Ask her how her first day went! Is she procrastinating on finishing homework? Check in to see if she’s going to write that paper tonight. It’s easy to pay attention to the big events and milestones and forget all the seemingly unimportant details. But real connection comes from those small day-to-day interactions. Subsequently, there’s a fine line between showing that you remembered a specific part of her life and coming across as stalkerish. The key is balance. For example, it’s totally appropriate to ask, How did dinner go with your mom tonight? It might be too much to ask, How did dinner go with your mom tonight? Did you order a hamburger like usual? Was that restaurant crowded like it was last time? Did your mom bring up the issue with your sister again?
Reference Inside Jokes
If you want to keep things running smoothly, make it a point to keep your conversations fun. For example, you might tag her in a meme that’s relevant to a discussion you two had earlier. Or, if she mentioned liking a particular brand of ice cream, you might consider sending her a photo of that ice cream the next time you’re at the grocery store. Humor makes for easy banter.
Know When You’re Being Ghosted
You finally came forward and told her that you like her over text. It was a brave move, but you did it. Unfortunately, your disclosure was met with…silence. Ghosting is common, particularly with online dating, and some girls do it as a way to show someone they don’t have any interest in them. Ghosting can happen in stages, and withdrawal is one of the first signs that it might occur. She might be ghosting you if:
drastically cuts down on communicating with youseems to be bored or apathetic about actually spending time togethermakes frequent excuses about being too busy (or cancels plans at the last minute)her texts feel neutral, forced, or overly politecuts contact altogether
Ghosting hurts- no doubt about that. But it’s usually a waste of time to try to keep reaching out to see what’s going on. Even if you hope for reconciliation, her saying nothing actually says a lot. She is telling you that she no longer wants to be in contact with you.
When Should You Wait to Tell a Girl You Like Her In Person?
Sometimes, it really is better to hold off until you’re actually together before sharing your innermost emotions. There isn’t a perfect formula for determining this, but there are some important considerations to keep in mind.
You’re Concerned You’re Moving Too Fast
You can’t help how you feel, but there’s something to be said about being mindful of timing. You don’t want to scare someone away by making a statement you can’t take back. It’s easy to act impulsively over a quick text message. But if you commit to telling her in person (and on an actual date), you might find that the moment feels more genuine and significant.
You’re Only Doing It Because You’re Shy or Nervous
It’s normal to feel apprehensive when you’re telling someone how you feel. Most of us fear rejection and worry about getting our feelings hurt. But relationships require moving through some of that initial anxiety. So, if your only reason for texting her your feelings is because you feel too weird acknowledging them face-to-face, reconsider the big picture. A girl who likes you back will probably want to have this important and special conversation in-person.
You Want to Make It Memorable
Why not plan a special date where you bring her flowers and ask her to be your girlfriend? Why not make the occasion special? Sure, there’s always the risk that she turns you down. But, sometimes, taking great risks pays off emotionally. And if things go well, you’ll probably never forget this special moment!
Final Thoughts
There are many ways to express how you feel to a girl you like. You can send a text message, wait until you’re on a romantic date, or tell her over the phone. There isn’t one perfect method- you’ll need to decide the best option for your particular situation. And even though it may scare you, commit to putting your best foot forward and telling her how you feel! Life is short. No matter how she responds, you’ll feel better knowing the truth is out there. And remember that you don’t need to hone this skill down perfectly. If she likes you back, she’ll be flattered no matter how you tell her.
