Of course, the kind of reaction you get depends on your relationship with this person, the goal you were aiming for, and how this person reacts to such situations. There’s also the question of whether you even should consider such a move. So, before you ignore her completely — without sparing a thought to what it might lead to — let’s make sure you know a thing or two about when it can “work”, when it doesn’t, and when it can blow up in your face.
The Psychology Of Ignoring A Woman
Before we take a look at when it can work and when it doesn’t, we need to understand the psychology of ignoring a woman. For that, let’s take a look at what happened to Rick after a date that went considerably well. The date ends, Rick gets home, and he immediately texts his date. Once a reply comes in, he’s hitting her up with double texts, memes, jokes, and future date plans. Pretty soon, the replies stop coming in. Fast forward a few months, and Rick has another great date with someone new (quite the charmer, our Rick is). This time, he takes his time to text the person, gets occupied with work for the next four days, and realizes he has inadvertently ignored her completely. However, things seemed to work in his favor. This person is now asking Rick when they can meet again, and her interest in him is pretty clear. So, this totally means that the psychology of ignoring someone always works, right? Well, not really. As you may have gathered from Rick’s case, the goal here was to start ignoring a girl to get her attention. To build a sense of mystery around you, to get her intrigued, and to play “hard to get”. But since it involves potentially hurting someone’s feelings, there’s a good chance that it may just blow up in your face. Do you like getting ghosted? Do you like being ignored? Do you like it when your date’s online but just won’t open up your chat? No, right? Hence, you’ve got to play your cards right. Unlike lucky Rick, you’ve got a better chance of your story ending with, “I ignored a girl that likes me and she ended up ghosting me.” So, let’s take a look at when it can work, what the psychological effects of being ignored are, and why there’s a higher chance of it not working.
When Does The Psychology Of Ignoring A Woman Work?
Right off the bat, let’s get one thing clear, the psychology of ignoring a woman works when you don’t really ignore her, just limit your communication a bit. Have you ever heard a “how’d you two meet?” story start with, “It all started when I decided to ignore her completely. Worked like a charm!” No, right? If you have decided that you’re going to use this tactic to get her more intrigued, let’s take a look at a few scenarios when it can work.
1. When you don’t really “ignore” her
As we mentioned above, ignoring doesn’t mean you ghost the person. It doesn’t mean you cut off all contact with them, and it doesn’t mean you start being rude to them. Just make sure you’re not at their beck and call, and you might even see the positive effects of ignoring a girl who friend-zoned you. Just be a bit busy with yourself and let them know that they’re going to need to try harder to get your attention. Most importantly, don’t be a douche about it.
2. When you aren’t rude about it
We cannot stress this enough, if you’re ignoring a girl to get her attention, you cannot just seen-zone her all day, tell her you’re not interested and be all rude about it. Limit the contact, sure, but don’t disappear. Don’t play mind games, don’t act like a hotshot. The psychology of ignoring someone has many negative effects, don’t perpetuate them.
3. The psychology of ignoring a woman works when you’re both interested
Ignoring a girl who friend-zoned you has fewer chances of working in your favor than limiting contact with someone whom you just went out on a date with. If you’re both aware that you’re interested in each other, a simple, “Hey! I’m just very caught up at work, I’ll speak with you properly in a day or two”, might work in your favor to get her intrigued.
4. When you were at her beck and call before this
If you go from replying to her text messages within 0.7 seconds of receiving one from her to taking your sweet time to talk to her, she’s naturally going to get a bit curious about you. Earlier, she may have even taken you for granted. Now, however, she might even be the one to start up a conversation with you by asking you what’s been up. To which you’ll tactfully reply, “Oh, just been so busy. I never get any time to talk to anyone. Why don’t we catch up over a drink soon?” Ka-ching.
5. When you’re not looking for a long-term thing
If you’re looking for something long-term, ditch the mind games during the courting period. Focus on honesty, charming this person, and being your best self instead of acting hot and cold. Trust us, the healthy foundations you’ll set in the process will yield results later.
6. The psychology of ignoring a woman works when things had been fizzling out anyway
We’ve all been there, witnessing the death of a textlationship right before our eyes with every, “So, what’s up?” you send across that yields a “Not much. Bored”. When things go down that road, trying out limiting your contact with this person might just add in the much-needed layer of intrigue. Lord knows you could use some.
7. It’ll work when she really likes you
If she likes you, we’d advise playing into it by being nice and telling her that you like her too. But if you wish to go the opposite route, that might work too. If she likes you and you limit your contact with her, she’s probably not going to give up just because you didn’t reply for a few days. Again, make sure you don’t end up completely ghosting her, though. A week without a reply is too long. A day or two without one is still excusable and might make you seem more mysterious.
When Does The Psychology Of Ignoring A Woman Fail?
Oh, in so many ways. The psychological effects of being ignored include anxiety, hopelessness, and grief. Also, anger. The person may just get tired of your mind-games and decide to text another person, out of the literal hundreds of matches she gets on her dating apps. Let’s take a look at why “I ignored a girl that likes me” may not necessarily be the best tactic out there:
1. There’s a very real chance you’ll hurt and anger her
The psychology of ignoring a woman isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. If you actually “ignore” someone who is interested in you, they’re eventually going to feel bad about it, and develop negative emotions toward you. That doesn’t sound like it’s going to lead to a one-year anniversary in Venice, does it?
2. They may lose the feelings they had for you
Even if you just limit contact with this person, they may assume that you’re just not interested enough to text them regularly. For example, if you think texting them once in two days is a good idea but they’re the kind of person who wants to call and text you all the time, things definitely won’t work out here. Besides, if you ignore her completely, forget about her holding on to any sort of feelings that she had for you. She’s letting go of them the minute you seen-zone her for the third time in the same week.
3. They may start believing they’re insignificant
According to a study, people can often attribute being ignored to not being significant enough to get any attention from the person they are being ignored by. They may believe that there’s a very real disparity in the social status between the two people. Not only will the psychology of ignoring a woman not work, but you’ll also be hurting her mental health by making her feel insignificant.
4. It may lead to other negative effects
According to a study, being ignored can lead to a person experiencing a dip in self-confidence, making them feel unwanted, and even altering social perceptions by making the surrounding seem quieter. By this point, it should be pretty clear that the psychology of ignoring someone can unleash a whole host of issues in the person at the receiving end. Why not just get them a nice bouquet on the next date?
5. …And even more negative effects
A different study claims that being ignored may even make a person experience social withdrawal and hopelessness that makes them believe there’s no meaning to their lives. Yikes! Given that there are many ways to keep a conversation going with a girl, maybe put the brakes on the whole “ignoring a girl to get her attention” strategy.
6. The psychology of ignoring a woman doesn’t work because we’re in the 21st century
We’ve got dating apps, speed dating events, groups to help singles meet, events, forums, other online apps and so, so many other ways of meeting a new partner. If you ignore her completely, what makes you think she’s not going to strike up a conversation with the next person she matches with? Who knows, she may even start liking that person better because he doesn’t ignore her.
7. She may just ghost you
Ever heard of tit for tat? Yeah, that’s a very real possibility when you’re ignoring a girl to get her attention. Think about it, if you’re not texting her back but uploading all the stories in the world, why is she going to put in the effort just to get seen-zoned again?
3 Risks Of Using The Psychology Of Ignoring A Woman
If done right, you might just end up getting her interested enough for her to text you and say, “Hey stranger! Why don’t we catch up over drinks one day?” However, there’s also a very, very real risk of ruining things to the point of no return. Here’s how:
1. The psychology of ignoring a woman doesn’t work because you might anger her
As we mentioned before, seen-zoning her while uploading stories and ignoring her completely out of the blue is just bound to upset her. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel? You’d probably already have your finger lingering over the “unfollow” button.
2. The potential of causing a lot of damage
As we mentioned earlier, the psychology of ignoring someone comes with a host of problems for the person being ignored. For starters, you might make them feel like they’re worthless, they may develop social anxiety, they may start to feel insignificant, and it might even lead to hopelessness. Not only will you lose out on the chance of getting to know this person, but you’ll also be toying with their emotional health.
3. You’ll burn the bridge forever
Once you ignore someone and it doesn’t work out, there’s very little chance of things working out in your favor again. You can’t just disappear from a person’s life for weeks, slide back into their DMs, and hope that they play along to you pretending like nothing happened. In all likelihood, you’re going to receive a message like, “Yeah, no. Bye.” Honestly, the psychology of ignoring a woman is tricky and has more chances of resulting in a negative outcome than a positive one. If you still want to give it a go, the final piece of advice we can give you is to make sure that you’re not a douche about it. Don’t disappear, let her know why you’re “busy”, and when you can talk to her again. In the meantime, dating coaches on Bonobology’s panel can help you figure out the art of wooing a girl, so you don’t have to rely on mind games.
