Whether IAS or IPS officers or businessmen or even doctors – once a couple gets married, the husband and wife both expect that they have to perform the best. If you do not have basic knowledge, how will you be able to do so? Most men think that once they get erections, they have to start having sex – they hardly know what foreplay is. In India people think that sex happens only at night, in the dark: around 40% of couples only have sex in the dark at night, they hardly see their faces or each other’s naked bodies in light – even after having 2 or 4 kids or even after having sex for many years. And because of this, there is no foreplay. Men are like a matchstick – they ignite quickly and they douse quickly too. And women are like iron – they take longer to warm up and take time to cool off as well. But people don’t know this and so they don’t do foreplay. Foreplay is important for both – if the female has had no foreplay, she will not get lubricated, which leads to pain on penetration. She may not reach climax and because of this day by day her interest in sex decreases.“ “ For example, if I offer coffee, you will say yes. The second time you will agree as well, but only if you liked the taste the first time. If you did not like the taste of coffee the first two times, then when I ask you the third time, you will make some excuse and say that you just have had coffee elsewhere and hence would not like to have it now. That is what happens is marriage – the women start giving excuses – saying today I am not in the mood, or that kids are sleeping with us in the same bed, or any other excuse. And the husband feels that his wife is frigid. Who is the culprit? The man – he cannot satisfy his woman, he cannot have foreplay. Why don’t women speak up? Because our society is a male-dominated society and if a woman speaks up the males say that she is a nympho and her character is loose. It is a big problem even in educated circles. If the wife talks about her desires to her husband, he would not like it, but if a girlfriend tells him, he will love it. – Dr. Paras Shah, Chief Sexologist, Gujarat Research & Medical Institute and Director, Sannidhya Institute ; Research Center for Sex, Sexuality and Health A patient with really bad breath sits in front of me and says, “My wife is not interested in me, whenever I try to have foreplay, she says no and tells me to finish up everything as early as possible.” I find his breath unbearable at a distance; how will she tolerate it when he kisses her? Many people also chew tobacco, smoke or drink and feel that this smell shouldn’t affect anyone, but it does. Many men have bad body odour; they work all day and sweat a lot, but do not want to take a shower in the evening; they directly have dinner and then want to have sex. Some don’t wash their private parts, feeling they are too delicate, and then complain that their wives don’t like oral sex. Some men are in their 70s and have been married for 40-45 years, and they still want to have sex with their wives at least twice a week. They don’t even spend much time in foreplay and hence the wife, whose natural lubrication is diminished by then as she is already into menopause, feels pain.“ “Often I ask the men when they last told their wives I love you. They do not remember. Indian men do not know that they need to show love, or they feel that showing affection and love is a female’s domain; a man must not show such emotions. And this particularly happens only with the spouse – they show extra love and affection to their girlfriends and other females. Because of all this, the sex gets affected. Even if you don’t give your wife much money or don’t satisfy her properly in bed, it is fine. But the most important things are affection and love. (As told to Raksha Bharadia)
title: “What Women Want From Men” ShowToc: true date: “2022-11-13” author: “John Wang”
Back in 2000, Mel Gibson acquired this magical gift of being able to hear what women were thinking. While it did give us an insight into what they want, the truth is a lot has changed in the last two decades since Nick Marshall shocked himself with a hairdryer and fell into his bathtub unconscious. Women’s needs in a relationship have undergone a pretty massive change over the last 20 years. That fact that you are here tells me that either you have a woman in your life, whom you are completely crazy about and want to win her over. Or you have a woman in your life and she is so mysterious that she has your head spinning. Well, allow us to help you understand all things women and what they need from men in a relationship.
10 Things Women Want From Men
There is no dating algorithm or rule book that can exactly predict the things women want in a relationship. But we know one thing for sure, women of today are no damsels in distress. Women aren’t looking for a macho man who will come riding on a white horse like a knight in shining armor and protect them from all evil. They want someone who can show empathy, values their opinion, treats them as equals and gives them respect. We’ve made a list of 10 qualities of a good man that women appreciate.
1. Value their freedom and personal space
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean both partners have to be together all the time. It doesn’t mean you let go of your personal life and alone time. Spending time apart is a sign of a healthy partnership. A woman wants her man to have a positive mindset regarding her personal space and give her the freedom to just be. She wants to be able to spend some ‘me-time’ and engage in activities that she enjoys – whether it’s meeting friends and family, reading a book, starting a new project, indulging in her favorite hobby, going for a spa session or just spending some time all by herself doing nothing. She wants to prioritize herself and needs her man to respect that.
2. Women want men to honestly communicate with them
The importance of communication in a relationship cannot be stressed enough. It is key to a happy, successful and long lasting partnership. Honest and regular communication between partners brings them closer not just emotionally but also physically. One of the things women want in a relationship is honest communication. They want men to open up about their thoughts and feelings. Tell them how you feel. Talk like grown, mature adults. Don’t make them guess the emotional state you’re in. Keep an open line of communication.
3. Fight in a healthy way, don’t humiliate
Conflict is part and parcel of a relationship. But make sure to resolve it in a healthy, mature way without insulting or hurling hurtful jibes at each other. You should be able to respect each other even during a fight. Sarcastic remarks or any kind of abusive language is unacceptable. What women need from men is to be emotionally mature enough to think rationally and not overreact to every situation. They like men who can act like grown-ups and resolve conflicts together through discussion instead of engaging in a screaming battle, playing the blame game, or walking away.
4. Treat her as an equal
What do women want in a relationship? An equal partnership. A woman wants her man to treat her like an equal and share responsibility. Respect her opinions and encourage her to follow her dreams and ambitions. Give the same importance to her goals as you give to yours. Share responsibilities at home. It is as much your duty to take care of the daily chores as it is hers. Do the laundry, run errands, cook, wash the dishes – it’s called survival skills and should not be the responsibility of the woman only. Don’t make her feel silenced or inferior in the relationship.
5. Understand consent
A ‘no’ means no. One of the most important things women want in a relationship is for men to understand consent. For far too long, we’ve lived in a society where men refuse to take ‘no’ for an answer and believe that getting a girl to say ‘yes’ by pestering or stalking her is consent. But, not anymore. A woman wants to feel safe when she is with her man. Consent is most important if you plan on getting physical with someone. Talk to your woman about what makes her comfortable in bed as you explore the sexual boundaries of your relationship. It’ll only make a woman love and appreciate you more.
6. Sense of humor is very attractive
One thing that all women find attractive is a good man with a fantastic sense of humor. You don’t have to be a comedian to steal your lady’s heart, but having a sharp wit and fun comebacks is certainly going to make it easier to charm her. We don’t say that you need to turn every situation into a joke, but being able to dish out as well as take a joke are some of the qualities of charming men.
A dry sense of humor is a sign of a confident man and trumps good looks any day. In fact both men and women like their partners to possess a good sense of humor. After all who doesn’t want to laugh and have a partner who can make them see the funny side of a sad situation?
Bono Tip: Get out of the friend zone by using witty remarks.
Indeed that’s how irresistible a sense of humor is. So, what are you waiting for? Time to start reading all the knock-knock jokes and one-liners you can get your hands on.
7. Women want stability
Now by stability, we don’t mean that you need to have a good sense of balance. No. Most women look for long term relationships. And for a relationship to last a long time, you need stability. Women desire men who are not only financially stable where they are capable of taking care of the family, but they also want them to be emotionally and relationally stable. What is that emotional and relational stability, you wonder? Let me explain.
Emotional stability is where you are able to handle strong and intense emotions without you losing control. For example, it is normal to be angry, but if you end up punching the wall every time you get angry, that is being unstable emotionally. Similarly, if you threaten to walk away from a relationship the moment things get tough, then that is a sign of relational instability.
What do women like? Women like a man who is reliable and supportive, who will weather the bad days as well as enjoy the good days. Someone who will not give up at the first sign of distress. This is one of the essential qualities of a good man that women look for.
8. Emotional availability
Yes, I know I said women want a guy who is stable and is able to handle his emotions without flying off the handle. Unfortunately, a lot of guys feel the only way to be emotionally stable is not feel emotions. In their heads they say things like “We are real men, nothing can hurt us. We are Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson!” Yeah…. Nope! that’s definitely not what a woman wants. In fact it is a red flag! It is one thing to be able to handle emotions. Not feeling emotions is an entirely different issue. For a relationship to be healthy and to establish a deeper connection, a couple needs to be emotionally available. And you cannot be emotionally available if you refuse to feel emotions entirely. It is ok to feel. It is important to feel. We are humans after all. What we need to be mindful of is how we react when we are under the influence of the said feelings. That is what needs to be controlled. One of the good qualities of a man is his ability to be aware of his feelings and be in control of his actions.
9. Women want to be accepted
It is safe to assume that both men and women want the same things in this regard. No matter if she is a high quality woman who is high maintenance or a woman who is easily pleased, she wants to be loved, respected and accepted for who she is. A woman deserves a man who will not constantly try to change or upgrade her. It is one thing to want to uplift your partner and help them become a better version of themselves. But it is another thing entirely when your try to change the way they walk, talk, dress etc. Acts like these make a person feel bad about themselves. And no woman will ever feel comfortable being herself if you constantly try to change her.
10. Women dislike mind games
They say all is fair in love and war. And most people take that a little too seriously. As a result, they try to gaslight or manipulate people to get what they want. The sad part is, romantic manipulations work a lot of times. A person who is skilled in manipulation will do it so subtly in the beginning that it might be difficult to get a whiff of it. By the time you do understand what is going on, you are in too deep, unable to break out of the vicious cycle of self-doubt and fear. What do women like in a man? They want a man who knows what he wants and is assertive but not at the cost of their sanity. A high quality woman is self-aware and knows a red flag when she sees one. You could try to manipulate her but she will drop you like a hot potato. A better man will make a woman feel safe, appreciate her for who she is and will try to win her over in a healthy manner without playing mind games. It’s not that hard to figure out what women need from men in a modern relationship. Every woman is different and so are her expectations. It requires time and effort. After all, a relationship is constant work. But if you pay just a little bit of attention to what your woman is trying to say, you’ll be able to figure out what makes her happy. Make an effort to understand her and she’ll willingly go the extra mile for you to make sure you have a good time. Also next time you are a little confused as to what your Venusian partner wants. Well, just ask. This article has been updated in November 2022
