Sometimes this depends on your ex’s attachment style and how they deal with the breakup. Yet, there are signs that the relationship has ended permanently and they won’t contact you ever again. One of the most fundamental signs that your ex won’t talk to you again is detaching completely from you. They will completely block you on any platform and do not leave any space to recover your relationship. The reasons why they do this might be different: sometimes it might be you and sometimes them. It might be the guilt that makes them never contact you or just their will to seek healing. Either way, here are 8 different reasons that an ex never reached out:
1. They broke up with you and they mean it
When an ex never contacts you again and cuts all contact with you, they are trying to move on. In a relationship where there were deep feelings and the breakup was based on needs and emotions, they will pull away. They just distance themselves because they don’t want to bring up all those mixed emotions. Especially, if they still have deep feelings for you, it’s hard for them to be in contact with you. Opening old wounds would be not hard for them only but for you. If they or you would initiate contact, in this case, this would lead you to another argument or fight. Until you both work on your flaws, mistakes, and insecurities, the relationship won’t work.
2. They might have moved on and created a new life
It’s not always easy for an ex to move on and create a new life for them. Hence, sometimes this is the best that they can do to look forward and not be stuck in the past. If more than 6 months have passed and there was no contact, know that they are trying to move forward. Your ex doesn’t contact you anymore because they’re focused on being mentally and emotionally stable. It doesn’t mean that they will always jump into another relationship so they can move on. Alienation comes as a result of pain and toxic relationship. Every person going through the same experience needs to detach completely. Otherwise, they can’t even reflect properly on the whole situation.
3. They didn’t have enough time to grieve
If your ex hasn’t contacted you in a month that means that they are still processing the breakup. The stages of the breakup are different for everyone, especially for the dumper and the dumpee. The dumpee grieves at the beginning and the dumper does it later on. The biggest issue here is that the different grieving timeline creates confusion. You might think that the dumper isn’t interested in you because he’s contacting you after a month. Yet, during the first month, your ex is going from enjoying the freedom to getting curious about you. And all of this change of emotions isn’t linear, for them nor for you. This time can be melancholic, tragic, and even depressing because you’re waiting for them to contact you. To understand on a deeper level these types of feelings, you need the extra help of a relationship coach.Being subjective by yourself is hard and not always productive. So these coaches will make a proper and specific plan for you to make it work.
4. It’s hard for them to admit their feelings
If your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend didn’t contact you again, they might have a hard time dealing with their feelings. In this case, it doesn’t mean that your ex doesn’t care about you or has no feelings for you. They think that admitting their mistakes or feelings will make them weak. It will look like they are already “losing” the breakup and can’t move on. Even if they still love you and want to make the relationship work, their inability to reflect will penalize the situation. Again, they would rather never contact you than reflect on their mistakes and start over. They would rather pretend that they are over you by creating a new relationship with someone else.
5. They think that you have moved on completely
When an ex never contacts you it might be that they think that you have moved on completely. If you started using No Contact and cut all communication with them, they might think that you are over them. They might have been considering getting back together with you but you might have been sending the wrong message. It’s quite normal if you panic after the breakup and cut your ex just to see their reaction. Some do this and some are all clingy. You might block your ex or post content on social media that might make them think you don’t care anymore. Either way, sending the wrong message will make your ex step back and move on.
6. They are hurt and mad at you
An ex that’s hurt and abused throughout the relationship won’t think twice about contacting you. The post-breakup trauma is not something easy to deal with. If your relationship was messy and the breakup even messier, your ex won’t want to connect anymore. This happens because they just don’t want to connect with the negative feelings again. During this time apart, they might realize that you were not compatible with one another. Even if there might be love, without working on your flaws, mistakes, and fears, the relationship won’t work. So, if your ex doesn’t contact you anymore that means that they don’t like some things about you.
They don’t like the way you handled the relationship or the breakup;They realized that you only push and pull them;
They might have felt shame, hurt, and rejection and this will lead them to cut the contact.
7. They aren’t interested in making the relationship work
An ex won’t ever contact you again if they are afraid of commitment. They might be waiting for you to contact them. They don’t initiate contact because don’t want to face the relationship’s responsibilities. If you contact them first then they will start to get the benefits of the relationship without contributing. They might not have put effort earlier on in the relationship and they might not do it again. In the meantime, they might be dealing with their feelings and trying to understand themselves. Sometimes, even your ex is not aware of what makes them afraid of commitment. Until they decode these feelings, there might be some small breadcrumbing or no contact at all.
8. They have a big ego
Sometimes when an ex never contacts you again means that they are dealing with their ego. In this case, their pride doesn’t let them initiate the contact and wait for you to contact them first. Many couples don’t communicate ever again with one another because of this. This means that they put their ego, pride, and needs before you or before maintaining the relationship. In a few words, they just don’t have the patience or the courage to make the relationship work again.
Is it normal to never want to hear from your ex again?
Yes and yes. It is totally normal not to want to hear from your ex again if the relationship was abusive. And there is nothing wrong with that. Don’t be hard on yourself just because you feel that way. Especially, if your ex is controlling or was abusive, after the breakup they might want to stay friends. They use some mind games that will manipulate you. In this situation, you might feel triggered to create a new bond with them still it won’t feel right for you. Now, it is better to take a step back, create your boundaries and claim your needs. It’s not worth it to stay friends just because they might be playing with your thoughts or emotions. I know that it’s not something easy to do and it takes time to adjust to this situation. Hence, you might start small. You can’t be the same person as you were at the beginning of this relationship. ~So, all you need is to write down the reasons why you are feeling this way. ~Write also what would you do instead. Whether you could use this distance to focus on yourself or on something else that would benefit you.
How long should you wait to hear from your ex?
There is no specific time how you should wait to hear from ex. It all depends on how they process the breakup and if they still have feelings for you. An ex might have still feelings for you but it might take more than a month to contact you again. It depends, on how they use this time to process their feelings and heal. Usually, when the relationship is longer, it might take longer for an ex to reflect. For the dumper and the dumpee, the time after the breakup might be so confusing. You might look for advice everywhere and still not know what to do exactly. That’s normal because your heart says something else and your mind says something else. I mention this because there will be hesitation and confusion from their side too. It might take a month, a few months, or even a year.
How to deal with an ex who never talks to you again after the breakup?
The first step to take when your ex never talks to you again is to focus on yourself. Just by doing it, you can reflect on what might be the problem. Still, if you enhance yourself, you will attract differently. Also, it depends on how the breakup happened. ~If you are the one that carries the guilt of the breakup then maybe you owe an apology. In this case, you should give some time and space for yourself and your ex to reflect. In the meantime, reflect on your flaws, your behavior, and what could be done differently. ~Keep yourself in motion. Engage yourself in different activities that will keep you moving forward. I am not implying to put these thoughts in the back of your head or suppress your feelings. My suggestion is to try new things that will give you the will to move forward. During this time, you will find your true potential. It’s better than just staying in one place and dealing only with sadness.
Bottom line: My ex doesn’t contact me anymore…
If your ex doesn’t contact you anymore that would be either they are healing or working on themselves to rekindle the relationship. Whatever reason they choose, it depends on how your relationship ended. If you have initiated the breakup then your ex might need time to adjust to the rejection. I am not saying that being dumped might hurt more than dumping, yet it created that feeling of being unwanted. To be more specific, mostly exes who have a fearful attachment style won’t ever contact you again. For them, it’s hard to be connected to the extent that will make them feel like they’re losing control. Nevertheless, during this time keep in mind to be focused on yourself. Don’t try to put them first and forget about yourself. Sincerely, Callisto Adams
