Whether it will work if he has lost feelings depends on how you choose to use this rule. When you are distant from your ex, you will give yourself and him the space and time to reflect. Being persistent will make you look more pathetic and clingy when he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore. If your ex has lost feelings for you then there was something that made him pull away from you. Instead of focusing on what he is feeling or thinking, you need to focus on your improvement.
Distinguishing Avoidant/Fearful avoidant attachment and when your ex has lost his feelings!
Sometimes, people tend to mix these two traits or elements and this is what can create confusion. It differs when a fearful avoidant needs his personal space to reflect and feel safe again from someone who lost his feelings. When he loses his feelings and interest, he clearly states that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. In this case, he might immediately jump on another relationship or will try to erase the past and you. If he loses interest but the relationship ends on good terms, he won’t try to erase the past. Yet, in this case, you won’t be his priority anymore. That’s why when an ex is a fearful avoidant or you end up on good terms, chances are that his feelings might change. That’s because his feelings are liable. Here are 7 different situations when No Contact will work or not if he lost his feelings:
1. It won’t work if he stated that he fell out of love
If he constantly kept investing in the relationship and never got anything in return, the no contact won’t work. Even though he will have the space and time to reflect on his time alone, he might not come back. It doesn’t mean that he won’t miss you or won’t have feelings for you. If your relationship was destructive and demolished earlier on then it won’t be easy for him to come back. The pain and negative experience or unrequited love will prevent him to feel differently. Even the distance and your change might not attract him to come back. Especially when the relationship was toxic and you might have been controlling too.
2. They are indecisive but still state they lost their feelings
In this case, the No Contact will do its magic. Sometimes, he might state that he has lost completely feelings for you and tells you to not contact him ever again. Depending on how strong your love and relationship were before the breakup, he might be or not telling the truth. If your ex is a fearful avoidant then he will do that just so he can be recharged and understand himself. As soon as he gets comfortable with you, for him this means that he needs the distance. That’s why the No Contact rule will be effective because you won’t be begging and pleading with him. You will let him have his time and space and you continue to make yourself better. To understand this attachment style and what you need to do precisely, you need extra help.The relationship coaches will help you to decipher your ex’s behavior and be subjective.
3. If he lost interest in you for some time now
If he fell slowly out of love with you then even when he gets his space, he won’t change his mind. Especially, if the relationship was toxic. Indeed, in the beginning, he will miss you and you will cross his mind. Hence, there is pain and everything else that will hold him back from contacting you. Nevertheless, if your relationship started as a fling or you were just lust, chances are his feelings might not change. Feelings can indeed change for better or worse and distance can help it. Yet, if these feelings are lost to trauma then no contact won’t be able to nourish those feelings.
4. If they chose someone else instead of you
If he has lost feelings for you while being with you and decided to date someone else, the No Contact won’t work. When a man loses interest in you, you won’t be his priority and his feelings and focus will be elsewhere. Whatever the reason that caused this loss of interest will affect the No Contact. If he has gradually lost interest then that means that he has been trying to make the relationship work. Hence, you might not have contributed the same as he, and in the meantime, he might have pulled away. When we look at it from another perspective, you might notice that distance can be beneficial for you. You might use this time to reflect and find the reason that caused your ex to lose his feelings. You will find out if there is a solution for that particular issue.
5. They realize the relationship will never be stable
The No Contact rule will work if he has lost feelings to either make or break the relationship. If this distance makes him realize that the relationship was never stable, his feelings might not change. If during No Contact you immediately jumped into a rebound relationship that’s not a good sign. Also, you will contribute to his final decision if you post constantly on your social media. This is not what being distant means. You just need to let him reflect on his own and not play mind games. This rule is not about playing games, it is more about giving the space and time to reflect on your absence. If your absence fails to change their opinion then the No Contact rule isn’t working.
6. It will work if you took this rule to work on yourself
It won’t change a thing if you wait around and don’t work on yourself. If he has been reflecting and you have not been elevating, he will come to one conclusion. This conclusion will include no reason to reconcile. He might state that he has lost his feelings for you but on the other hand he is waiting for a sign. He is waiting for a sign or change from you that will convince him to give you a second chance. Otherwise, if you just stay there motionless, he will slowly focus on himself and his happiness.
Your ex will be attracted again to you if you reflect different vibes;
Your ex’s feelings will come back if you give them a reason to stay in your relationship;
All of this is possible if you focus during this time on your potential and what can you change. Remember that your ex’s feelings and thoughts aren’t under your control.
7. It will work if you give him the respect
I know that this might sound strange and very cliche to you but this is how it works. The No Contact rule will work if he lost his feelings but gets respect from you. In this situation, you draw your boundaries and still respect the way he is feeling. I know that it is easier said and done, especially if you have been in a long-term relationship. But, you can show your ex another side of you by being respectful. You will be more attractive and interesting by being mysterious and working on yourself. If you’re clingy, needy, and hateful, you won’t give him a chance to reflect and choose what’s best for you and them.
Can be lost feelings come back?
Yes, it’s possible, lost feelings can come back. Feelings can change constantly but love is something that should be working constantly on. – What you need to do is to keep the spark of the relationship alive by working on yourself first. This is what the No Contact rule is all about. After the breakup, you give yourself and him the space to process your feelings. After you do it and you spend some weeks and months without your ex, you will come to the point. You will either realize that you can’t live without them or that you need to start working on this relationship. And in this case, love can grow stronger and both of you will function better. Especially, if you have been losing yourself when you were in a relationship. Sometimes, being in that pit can hinder you from evolving and understanding what you are truly feeling. – On the other hand, an ex might come back just because they’re bored or are familiar with you and want something. Hence, when his feelings come back, he will realize that maybe he has hurt you or that his feelings are stronger for you. Usually, when an ex cheats on you that’s when their feelings change and because they reflect on their mistakes. I am not implying that everyone has the trait of reflecting on this situation, but some do. It all depends on your circumstances and how the breakup happened. – If your ex lost his interest and attraction and is hurt then feelings might come but not stay. What I mean is that feelings might be present to some extent because he has loved you once. Yet, what makes their feelings fade away is the pain, their shattered ego, and confidence too. With a few words, he doesn’t want to go through the same bitter experience. Now, his feelings are associated with negative experiences and that’s why he might refuse to feel the same.
Extra advice from our experts:
It is quite normal to lose the spark in your relationship and break up. Also, it’s normal to start losing interest in your ex once you have broken up. Yet, never lose the hope that you won’t be able to reconcile the relationship. Here are the top three articles to help you understand deeper the No Contact rule and reconcile:
- 13 fundamental signs the No Contact Rule is working;
- How to get back together after a breakup?
- 13 signs your ex will eventually come back; Also, people from around the world have been experiencing heartbreak and using the No Contact rule. Know that you are not alone and when he loses interest doesn’t mean that you will lose yourself. It’s important to know how to use No Contact to find and improve yourself. Here is one personal story that will help you understand yourself and maybe connect to your situation too:
The end: Will No Contact work if he has lost feelings?
The definite answer is that depends on his attachment style and the way the relationship ended. There is no definite answer because every relationship is built differently and has ended differently. If the relationship was bitter then the lost feelings won’t come back even in the distance. The distance will work only if you ended up on good terms or if those feelings are not completely done. To make a relationship work again, you need just a little bit of trust, consistency, and the will to reflect. Instead of waiting for him to regain his feelings for you, try to work on yourself more. Enhancing yourself will be the key to either moving on or attracting him forever. Best of luck, Callisto Adams
